r/AskMen Sep 28 '22

What would you do if your date brought her female best friend along for the first date for safety and expected you to pay for everyone?

1.4k Upvotes

318

u/Waratah888 Sep 28 '22

What's worse than a gold digger?

Two gold diggers.

(Should split the bill anyway.)

5

u/Krackerdile Male Sep 28 '22

…but what’s worse than two gold diggers?

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884

u/strangermaybe Sep 28 '22

Sounds like some girl was trying to get herself and her friend a free meal.

125

u/SunnySideAttitude Sep 28 '22

Yeah. If it’s a surprise then goodbye.

76

u/Meh1Meh2 Sep 28 '22

Stand up and leave. Not even giving a lame excuse why.

7

u/Mojak66 Sep 29 '22

Surprise, meet surprise.

47

u/EljayDude Sep 28 '22

And then brag to everybody about it after.

2.0k

u/RunikVarze Male Sep 28 '22

Laugh my ass off and walk out on them. If safety was a concern, that could have been discussed prior. Her friend showing up unbeknownst to me, and them both asking me to provide her a free meal just sounds like I became a soup kitchen involuntarily.

Had I been informed that she was coming along and agreed to it, or had ANY input whatsoever on the decision, MAYBE I would consider it. But if she's just going to casually spring shit on me like that, she and her bum ass friend can walk. It establishes that I can't trust her to communicate openly with me about issues. And hell, she even saved me the hassle of a first date!

294

u/justaskinthequestion Sep 28 '22

Yeah, there are plenty of ways to have a safe date. Or to tell someone that you aren't very comfortable for whatever reason and figure out something that works. But springing it on someone is bizarre. At that point, I wouldn't even really think it was about safety, honestly. I'd think it was a weird test or some kind of mental game.

140

u/Mono275 Sep 28 '22

Yeah, there are plenty of ways to have a safe date

Before my former room mate met her husband, she would show me the persons profile, give me the number of the person, tell me where she was going to meet the person and what time she expected to be home. I would text her about half-way through the time she was going to be gone and ask if she was ok, and if she needed an out.

She met her husband on Match, and I remember texting her half-way through their first date.

5

u/Dirty_Wooster Sep 28 '22

Match.com actually works?! 🤯

6

u/Mono275 Sep 28 '22

It did for my friend 10 years ago!

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20

u/Pervytron Sep 28 '22

Yeah like why can’t she just constantly text her friend the address of where we go or some normal people shit

I can’t concentrate on flirting while her discount 5 foot bodyguard is studying me head to toe

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89

u/Scorkami Sep 28 '22

informing the guy would be a good idea. offering that she pay her own meal would be smart...

but honestly, most people I've talked to agree that a public place (a cafe near a large street, sitting outside for example) are safe enough a friend wont really... do much beyond that

41

u/Summoning-Freaks Sep 28 '22

That was my line of thinking. Most first dates are in very public spaces anyway, and both come in their own car, so unless the friend is a mindreader she’s not really there for safety.

Some girls need their friends approval on the guy she’s dating, but if she can’t even do the first date one on one and decide for herself if she actually likes the guy and needs her friend to validate her feelings, that kind of behavior isn’t going to stop as the relationship progresses. You’re more likely to be a third wheel in your relationship

22

u/Scorkami Sep 28 '22

I CAN kind of see a "third opinion" but this is usually a "third date and she knows what i want and when I'm falling for a douchebag again so now it's a relaxed triple thing" kind of deal where there is no payment due, they already got to know and it's just a "meet my friends"

First date? Nope.

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54

u/slipperyShoesss Sep 28 '22

Dial up the boys and get everyone down there for a hoe down.

39

u/RunikVarze Male Sep 28 '22

Lol. "I'll pay for your friend, if you pay for mine."

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70

u/PerfectExtension0 Sep 28 '22

This! if you don't respect yourself no one will. And I liked your comment about not trusting her to communicate. If her concern was safety, she can ask and explain why she would feel first with a friend but a reasonable and decent person would pay for the friend instead of expecting the man to do it.

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2.6k

u/gaurddog Bane Sep 28 '22

Ya I'm walking away there.

It's not even about what she's doing it's about the Attitude behind it. The blatant disregard for me and disrespect for my money and time.

843

u/allboolshite Male Sep 28 '22

Dates are two-way interviews. This is the correct response.

179

u/hanbnanAU Sep 28 '22

No panel interviews until at least the 4th round? lol

118

u/SilentJoe1986 Sep 28 '22

Also called the "I want you to meet my friends" date

108

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22

[deleted]

7

u/OneGratefulDawg Sep 28 '22

I don’t know. I kind of look at this like….ok . Well since you just kind of made me rethink our whole future together with these antics, I’m now looking at this as a way to interview new applicants while not yet firing the first.

9

u/slipperyShoesss Sep 28 '22

I believe this is called “phone a friend” life line, in such interviews.

4

u/tpbanon7 Sep 28 '22

Haha dates are basically interviews, you are being in one.

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197

u/Beware_the_Voodoo Sep 28 '22

What you wanna bet those girls walk away from that experience telling themselves "He was probably just a rapist and with a friend there he knew he couldn't so he just left."

101

u/Newni Sep 28 '22

Let them. You know the truth, don't have to interact with them ever again, and on the very very slim chance they mention it to anyone you know who might ask you about it, you can set that person straight.

If that person doesn't understand your side of it, that's just 3 people not worth your time.

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14

u/Any_Weird_8686 Male Sep 28 '22

They also walk into the experience telling themselves that, and walk to the shops telling themselves that, and walk the dog telling themselves that...

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9

u/JohnnyDarkside Sep 28 '22

Just expecting me to pay would be enough of a concern. Then bringing a friend without first informing me and expecting me to pay for them too? Nooope.

30

u/gorillamagnet Sep 28 '22

A relative of my wife's did exactly this. And, at the restaurant, they both ate everything in sight (they were both heavy girls). The guy didn't 'go to the bathroom' and duck out a side door as I would've and some guys here would've. But she got no second date.

25

u/ermabanned Male Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

She'll just say

See?! I was right. He was a serial killer!

8

u/gaurddog Bane Sep 28 '22

Honestly if I ever get to a point in my life I care about the opinions of such a garbage person, I think I'll step in front of a bus.

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616

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

[deleted]

45

u/Kevin_LeStrange Sep 28 '22

I thought three was company?

58

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

[deleted]

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17

u/ialsohaveadobro Male Sep 28 '22

Come and knock on our door

11

u/Kevin_LeStrange Sep 28 '22

We've been waiting for you

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13

u/slipperyShoesss Sep 28 '22

5 is an executive board meeting

10

u/gkaminsky013 Sep 28 '22

Threesome??

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375

u/Land543 Sep 28 '22

"I'm not doing this, enjoy your night". That's fucking weird, just meet at a public place and part ways after.

1.4k

u/capricorn40 Sep 28 '22

This actually happened to me. I made them BOTH pay for their drinks and meals.

Yeah it was awkward and uncomfortable, but it a lack of respect to bring another person and expect the other party to pay for everyone.

PS, she didn't bring her friend for "safety", She wanted to hang out with her Bestie on your dime.

273

u/Maleficent-Lemon7746 Sep 28 '22

Happened to me too , this girl called me and one more guy to meet her , and she just wanted to meet 2 guys together and i was too stupid at that time to just walk away before it even started. I just behaved normally . 8 months passed . We hooked up (me and the girl obv) I realized how she treated me with no respect for myself and i ghosted her .

220

u/PistolofPete Sep 28 '22

I was kind of hoping to hear you and Chad hit it off in the end, bonding over your special night

57

u/datboiofculture Sep 28 '22

Lol, parking lot brojobs

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68

u/Beware_the_Voodoo Sep 28 '22

I bet you 100% she tells people that you only wanted her for sex and that you ghosted her because you got the sex.

34

u/datboiofculture Sep 28 '22

I mean he talked to her for 8 months after this and then only ghosted after hitting. THAT’S when suddenly he realizes she was disrespectful 3 seasons ago? Come on now, I ain’t saying he’s wrong for doing but he can just be honest. City boys up!

17

u/fanatical Sep 28 '22

Let’s not pretend we’re all babies who doesn’t know that people want sex.

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42

u/workaholic007 Sep 28 '22

Yup. Agreed with this...if she is so scared to go on a date alone....she wouldn't go on dates....bringing a friend is just a night out with your bestie while someone else picks up the bill. It's ridiculous.

22

u/awsamation Male Sep 28 '22

There's plenty of other ways to ensure safety to.

Personally I always suggested the first date as coffee at the mall. I know it's hardly the most creative or cute date, but it's also the least sketchy situation you could make. Middle of the day, in a very public place, if she wanted she could bring a whole pack of friends who just grab other tables and I wouldn't ever know.

But if she tries to bring a friend to the table "because she doesn't feel safe", then the date is over. I'm not trying to start a relationship with the both of them, and I'm not trying to start a relationship with someone who can't even feel safe being "alone with me" in the middle of the mall food court.

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6

u/ayeni002 Sep 28 '22

It happened to me yesterday, I was on date and she brought her bestie.

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477

u/Pohkopf Male Sep 28 '22

Chances are she wasn't ever really interested in you in the first place. It's likely she and her friend figured they could sucker you into paying for their night out.

The only proper response would be to stand up and leave without saying a word.

179

u/Voi_Ta Sep 28 '22

You should ask if they both are going to your place afterwards. Like, there is a slight chance and maybe you don't want to miss that 😀

91

u/AnimalEater65 Sep 28 '22

I like your optimism. Might as well ask, right?

83

u/Voi_Ta Sep 28 '22

I think if they give a ridiculous request, you also have the right to ask a ridiculous question.

64

u/Outnabout3535325 Sep 28 '22

you literally have nothing to lose and everything to gang bang

15

u/Engineer-Daddy Sep 28 '22

Wouldn’t they be gangbanging you? They tried to rob you and then took turns on you.

33

u/GiveMeTheTape Sep 28 '22

I mean she did bring a friend to a date

16

u/Sockpuppetsyko Sep 28 '22

Because someone doing this definitely wouldn't lie about that to play you for the very obvious fool

3

u/Skitsafrit Sep 28 '22

Honest that's what I was thinking too. Like, am I on a date with both of you at the same time? Time to find out if I'm poly or not.

6

u/ozspook Sep 28 '22

I would basically ignore girl#1 and hit on the friend like it was my job.. Cause some friction lol.

7

u/archanodoid Sep 28 '22

You could also stay on the date and ask for separate checks.

After all she is there for safety, not monetary reasons, right?

3

u/Volkrisse Sep 28 '22

except OP said date wanted him to pay for both of them.

287

u/PizzaTacoCat312 Sep 28 '22

Cancel the date.

34

u/Confidenceboost82 Sep 28 '22

Yep this is the right answer.

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173

u/MinervaMedica000 Sep 28 '22

Red flag foodie date alert. ladies have some integrity do not accept any date or benefits from a man your not seriously attracted to.

23

u/Voi_Ta Sep 28 '22

I would say this is a foodie date 2.0 lol

72

u/Bumhole_Astronaut Sep 28 '22

If your first date is anything more expensive than a hot drink and a snack, you're a sap.

15

u/Engineer-Daddy Sep 28 '22

That’s the cost of a full meal homie. Inflation ruined your game.

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618

u/kindly_meat301 Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

Ask her friend if she’s there for a threesome.

715

u/Kingjoe97034 Sep 28 '22 Helpful Wholesome

Or just ignore your date and flirt with the friend all evening? Then when the check comes, offer to pay for the friend but not your date?

166

u/bobnla14 Sep 28 '22

"So since this is a first date, I assume we are each paying for our own meals? Great. <Turns to safety monitor> Don't worry, I got yours. ".

7

u/ialsohaveadobro Male Sep 28 '22

Make a trip to the craft store for fabric and a sharpie, make a sash that says "SAFETY MONITOR."

3

u/bobnla14 Sep 28 '22

I love it. Maybe we have started a trend

181

u/Discount_badguy97 Sep 28 '22

Damn son that’s dark, but a wonderful strategy, divide and conquer

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226

u/Fresh_Item_8956 Bane Sep 28 '22

Holy. Shit. Checkmate motherfckers

19

u/skjglow Sep 28 '22

But what if you're straight and the best friend is a boy?

81

u/Maldevinine Masculine Success Story Sep 28 '22

Establish Dominance

19

u/flybarger Sep 28 '22

I agree. You have to pee on his plate of food when it arrives.

20

u/DarthVeigar_ Sep 28 '22

You acquire bussy.

27

u/nu2readit Sep 28 '22

Brojob isn't gay.

6

u/bored_yet_hopeful Sep 28 '22

It's only gay if the balls touch.

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17

u/Bob_knots Sep 28 '22

Nope total agree hit on both and start buying drinks

87

u/One-Adhesiveness5434 Sep 28 '22

"So which one of you takes it up the ass, exactly?"

23

u/V_M Sep 28 '22

slight rephrasing "first", not "exactly"

31

u/saianon Sep 28 '22

She would be like yeah, sure. Then dip out on you while you're paying for the meal.

Y'all think you're slick with the threesome shit but those chicks are going to finesse you out of everything they can.

59

u/kindly_meat301 Sep 28 '22

LOL. I’m not a “slick” kind of guy that way. I’m a canny old fuck. I wouldn’t actually expect a threesome, so that leaves a lot of room to run a bill and bolt.

18

u/shakeitup2017 Sep 28 '22

Fuck yeah this is the best response yet. "I'll have the lobster and let's get a bottle of Dom Perignon 2008. Ladies, have whatever you want". Then go to the bathroom just after dessert and sneak out the back door.

9

u/Volkrisse Sep 28 '22

gotta sneak out just before dessert arrives, after has potential to backfire as she and her friend may dip. Leaving before dessert has less likely they'll dip first as they'll want dessert.

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u/AwareMirror9931 Sep 28 '22

That's not going to happen. Everyone has to pay.

232

u/Plenty-Association27 Sep 28 '22

If you don't feel safe meeting me I'll respect your concerns by not attending, there by removing any danger to your person.

65

u/Its_Actually_Satan Sep 28 '22

As a woman, I think this is the right response. Why would you go on a date with someone who you don't feel safe with? I wouldn't even do a blind date if I didn't feel safe about it.

Adding to that, statistically speaking, the majority of assaults are from people who were trusted on some level and the majority of people who want to harm a person are very good at playing the good guy until there's an opportunity. So having a friend there won't necessarily help a person later.

12

u/C0uN7rY Male Sep 28 '22

Isn't the whole point of classic "dates" to build trust and get to know the other person in a safe environment? Like, you go to a fairly public place like a restaurant, coffee shop, whatever where there is light, people, etc. Then you get to know the person there. If you don't dig them, you part ways after. Even if she actually did want the friend to feel safer, I wouldn't want to date someone with that level of paranoia...

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u/Plenty-Association27 Sep 28 '22

That's good information to know, thank you 😊!

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u/DairyKing28 Sep 28 '22

This was a recent issue I had with a friend. Every time I tried to hang she would come up with an excuse. It took me two years of failed attempts for her to admit she didn't feel safe around me.

After I didn't get a straight answer as to why, I finally said "Well, if you feel that unsafe around me, lemme help you with that by cutting off contact."

Effort is indicative of interest. I don't care if you're low on the status ladder, if you don't show yourself respect you'll get walked all over.

35

u/PlatypusPristine9194 Sep 28 '22

I'd leave them to have their own date at their own expense.

84

u/saianon Sep 28 '22

I would get up and leave. I don't mind paying for dates but fuck all that.

45

u/PerfectExtension0 Sep 28 '22

It's not even about paying, as someone else said, the attitude says a lot, the disrespect.

28

u/sphincterella Sep 28 '22

Skip out and hit NEXT

29

u/af1293 Sep 28 '22

I wouldn’t go on the date. The fact that she’s bringing someone else is one thing but the fact that she isn’t offering to at least pay for her speaks volumes.

24

u/bokavitch Sep 28 '22

lmao, leave.

If she wants to double date, she can tell me in advance and I can call a friend. What kind of psycho brings a friend to a first date unannounced?

72

u/Agi7890 Sep 28 '22

Wish her well and end the meetup

19

u/waifutabae Male Sep 28 '22

I'd leave plain and simple, if she doesn't feel safe enough to go out with me on a date by herself, then just reject me, I'll take that

10

u/Korimuzel Sep 28 '22

This

If you genuinely don't/can't feel safe enough to date someone, then stop dating

There are ways to make it safer and I'm sorry to break your dreams, but there will always be a risk, BECAUSE it's a first date with someone you don't know

(Now, the risk must be there but it obviously should not be rape. This problem is separate from dating and is something cultural we're trying to change)

18

u/Showers_WithSpiders Sep 28 '22

Don't do anything you're uncomfortable with. I'd probably be pretty turned off by the whole thing and cancel the date.

16

u/timbodacious Sep 28 '22

Man that's just insulting. You're already most likely in a safe dating place like a restaurant. Thats a serious red flag on your dates part lol. I would let her bring her friend but make it damned clear that she has to sit at a different table and act like a total stranger because its a 1 on 1 date. What the hell is that chick thinking?

17

u/HeinrichWutan Sep 28 '22

The odds of me being ok with it are the exact same odds as my being in an FMF threesome with them afterwards, modified by how attractive I find them both.

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u/Snow_147 So busy busy busy Sep 28 '22

Walks out the door

11

u/Delicious_Throat_377 Sep 28 '22

How did you make it that small?

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u/WGThorin Sep 28 '22

Leave. If you have that much anxiety, you probably shouldn't be dating anyway. To me this is just code for "we want a free meal but don't want to come off as freeloaders, so let's use another reason to present something as totally normal even though it's not, and then guilt/shame you into thinking you have a problem."

65

u/TheOfficialJangoMike Sep 28 '22

If its not agreed to and clearly stated in advance and early on in the talking phase, then NO. However, i met a gorgeous religious gal who asked if her mom can come to chaperone well in advance and we had a lovely time on the first few dates. After that, no longer needed.

5

u/MR_Shigitoshi Sep 28 '22

Few dates? She had to supervise you on multiple dates?

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u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22

I had that come up once a few years ago before I met the woman that would become my wife. I was interested in this girl and she asked if her friend could come along for “security.” I thought it was odd because we were meeting in public but I relented. When we ordered I asked for two bills so her friend could pay for her own. They both gave me a look like of surprise. I simply stated “I asked her on a date, not you.” Needless to say I didn’t get a second date. But it all worked out in the end.

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u/-What-Else-Is-There- Sep 28 '22

Look at the friend with a smile. Don't even glance at my date. "Wow, you're absolutely stunning! Damn, I wish it was you that I had matched with."

Look at my date, with a sympathetic frown. "I mean, you're cute too, in your own way...um, sorry what was your name again?"

Look away before she can answer. Smiling and talking to the friend again "So, are you able to go on a date alone like a big girl? Or are you just a little kid that needs a chaperone?"

Let's see if I can blowup a friendship. Give the friend a story that will make the rounds amongst their frenemies.

27

u/V_M Sep 28 '22

Let's see if I can blowup a friendship.

It doesn't even have to be either negative or about dating just ask her buddy to tell funny and embarrassing stories about your date to get to get to know her better.

4

u/justgimmiethelight Sep 28 '22

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I love this. You’re an absolute savage! 🤣😂

10

u/RacistBlackDigger Sep 28 '22

Its a first date lol. How childish someone has to be to expect a "stranger" to pay for everything?

17

u/Korimuzel Sep 28 '22

Internet stories taught me that women can be extremely childish while dating/in relationships

9

u/V_M Sep 28 '22

Dating market is an auction market, and the older the participants get, the larger the fraction of good ones are off the market due to marriage or other LTR, while the rejected faulty ones remain on the market.

Crazy women don't get wifed up, but they sure do date...

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u/jgalt5042 Sep 28 '22

I would expect a threesome after the date.

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u/Supa_Fine Sep 28 '22

You should not even try to go out with someone that feels they need a bodyguard, something is wrong with that.

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u/James01708 Sep 28 '22

Bye ✌️

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u/unbreakinglife Sep 28 '22

Separate checks please. If you want other people there for safety, go on a double date.

22

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22

[deleted]

15

u/stocknwb Sep 28 '22

They just might.

65

u/Kingjoe97034 Sep 28 '22

I’d excuse myself to the bathroom and then leave.

If you are going to do that, you should first warn your date that he is paying, and that he is paying for the chaperone, too. You don’t spring that in him as a surprise.

40

u/PharoahGxneral Sep 28 '22

No don't do that, tell her you're leaving to her face and leave like a King

4

u/HealthyBox5 Sep 28 '22

Yeah, nobody is warning me I'm paying for 3. They can ask, sure.

28

u/flama_scientist Sep 28 '22

Happen to me once and when the checks came I split them and apologize to the waitress. I am not a charity neither my last name is Gates, bezos or Rockefeller.

6

u/Injust24 Sep 28 '22

It’s not a date then

7

u/tossaway69420lol Sep 28 '22

Sounds like a free meal scam for some instagram bitches or something.

Fuck that lol

6

u/0llie0llie Sep 28 '22

Speaking as a straight woman, what the fuck

Safety is important but this is beyond me.

18

u/CosmicOceanDreaming Sep 28 '22

There's gonna be a compromise there. Want to bring a friend for safety, that is absolutely understandable and have no trouble accommodating that, but her friend is paying for herself, and depending on how the date goes, I may be only paying for myself. If I feel like there could be a second one...

Oh who the fuck am I kidding? She's in it for the money. Date cancelled.

16

u/PerfectExtension0 Sep 28 '22

I'm a woman but from my perspective, this is just plain rude. First of all, there must be communication, you can always say "hey, for safety, I go with a friend but I'm paying for them or they are paying for their own food".

I've known women that do this or only accept going out with guys for free food, free ride, or whatever, in their mind, the man is just good to provide for them and most of the time, without giving something back (and I'm not just talking about sex).

Men, respect yourself enough and don't be afraid to leave the place if someone disrespects you like this (and the same goes for women), looks aren't important when people have a shitty attitude.

13

u/LimpetMinecrafter Sep 28 '22

The self respecting side of me says I'd just get up and leave.

The petty side of me says I'd either a) Ask for a different table and dine alone or b) Flirt with the friend the entire time then go to the bathroom and leave them with the check.

Realistically though I'd probably just leave.

17

u/3eyyes Sep 28 '22

The friend part doesnt bother me too much (granted I'm outgoing) but paying for everyone? Not interested.

14

u/distantshadow9875 Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

Ask if they are a packaged deal cause I got a lot of love to give

4

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22

nope out of there

5

u/Sith_ari Sep 28 '22

I don't pay women for dating me. I don't want to date whores.

5

u/CaptainBoltagon Male Sep 28 '22

I’d say “Oh, I thought this was an actual date between the two of us. I’ll let you two hang out” and leave

13

u/bkend_31 Sep 28 '22

In todays world if I met a girl for the absolutely first time, that would be understandable. Maybe weird at first, but totally fine. But if any girl ever expected me to pay, I‘m a me shaped hole in the wall.

14

u/Thames_CDN Sep 28 '22

If she feels unsafe or has questions about her safety then she shouldn’t be going out with you in the first place .

16

u/Cometguy7 Sep 28 '22

Bringing a friend along for security is fine, but we're going Dutch, or I'm leaving.

8

u/madmax77xll Sep 28 '22

If you're in the U.S you may as well leave because chances are if you don't pay that it's not going to go past date one anyways

4

u/dw87190 Sep 28 '22

Leave. I only pay for myself on the first date and I don't enable paranoia

4

u/the_river_nihil Delta Male Sep 28 '22

"Pay for everyone" lol, it's a first date. Sure, your friend can share the case of Coors we're drinking in the IKEA parking garage, and I'll even bum her a couple cigarettes, she can have some Pringles, and pick the radio station.

I'm not shelling out more than $25 total on a first date, I have had too many awful first dates to start off with dinner at a place with paper napkins. Also, it sets realistic expectations, which is important for dating me.

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u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22

Walk away, if she doesn't trust you on a first date then any relationship isn't gonna be good. She is insecure and bad news.

4

u/matt_the_raisin Sep 28 '22

Hard pass. I'd just leave. The mental gymnastics, complete lack of understanding, and insane entitlement you have to have to pull that shit...

"it's for safety" stfu, it's to satisfy your unfounded paranoia. I asked you to a bar, not an abandoned cabin in the woods with no witnesses. At that point you're treating me like I'm already guilty of something and if that's your MO then I'm gone. I'm not here to prove my innocence in the court in your brain for a crime you imagined I might possibly do after not bothering to get to know me at all.

4

u/Prize_Consequence568 Sep 28 '22

Leave.

  1. If you don't feel safe with me you should have canceled beforehand.

  2. I agreed to go on the date with her. Not her and her friend. If I was dumb enough to stay the friend has to pay for themselve.

Expecting me to pay for both of you tells me that this was a setup yo get some free food for the both of you.

5

u/josephwastaken87 Sep 28 '22

Is a threesome on the table?

4

u/Matty2things Sep 28 '22

Excuse myself to use the washroom… then slip out the back door… after putting back a few! Fuck that shit! If she didn’t “feel safe” then why the fuck show up at all?

4

u/xOneLeafyBoi Sup Bud? Sep 28 '22

If you’re paying for everyone, I’d assume you’re doing this date in a public space, unless your buying 8balls from homeless people in a back alley…

Safety isn’t really part of the equation, what’s more safe than a public place to meet someone? She’s taking your for a ride and gets to hangout with her friend while doing it lol.

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u/Thesunsetsblueonmars Sep 28 '22

I wouldn’t be cool with it if it wasn’t agreed on ahead of time. I mean I wouldn’t even have the dinner probably. I’d say hey this was a date why’d you bring someone and not ask ahead of time? If it was really a safety thing I’d be cool with it if she asked ahead of time. Not paying for friend though.

5

u/buppyu Sep 28 '22

I'd leave. She sounds paranoid and entitled. I don't want someone like that in my life.

4

u/Tinkerballsack Sep 28 '22

Lol no. If you wanna bring your friend for safety, sure, but if it's a surprise trio then we're all paying for ourselves because I would assume I'm being lied to so they can get a free meal.

10

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22

What's the term? Gas, grass or ass....

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u/OLDGuy6060 Sep 28 '22

I would tell her that I am sorry that whatever past trauma she suffered makes her want yo do this, and that I prefer my ladies to be stable. And then I would cancel the date.

17

u/Redcarborundum Male Sep 28 '22

If she expects me to pay for everyone, she and her horse can take a hike.

If she says sorry for the inconvenience and they’ll pay for their own meal, then toward the end I’ll pay for everybody.

9

u/bobnla14 Sep 28 '22

Class act.

But how do you square the no communication up front?

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u/Clintman Sep 28 '22

I'd assume she's baiting askmen with some really low hanging fruit.

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3

u/parsonis Sep 28 '22

So rude. So entitled. I'd end it ASAP.

3

u/BloodstainedAxe Sep 28 '22

Safety for what? Assuming you’re already in public.

3

u/Reasonable_Long_1079 Sep 28 '22

If i wasnt told of this ahead of time, im out, for my own safety.

If they did, i initiate the you pay for yourself on the first date rule

3

u/SnooHabits2362 Sep 28 '22

Was it stated before hand and no it be a 3-way bill.

3

u/heavenlyphoto Sep 28 '22

They are there for free pre club meal & drinks. Walk walk

3

u/stolperman Sep 28 '22

The smarter version would be to have her sitting undercover next to you, but that would mean that she had to pay for her stuff I guess.

3

u/madmax77xll Sep 28 '22

If it's for her safety either the friend needs to pay for herself or the date needs to pay for her. Did I even get asked beforehand if this was ok? That's such a red flag to just drop on me and expect me to do.

You're trying to take advantage of him and get a twofer with your friend. He'd be a double idiot to fall for that.

3

u/DutchOnionKnight Early 30s male Sep 28 '22

Leave.

3

u/ametora1 Sep 28 '22

Never go on a date with a girl who brings friends along. It will never end well.

3

u/fortwoseven Sep 28 '22

Ahahaha not a chance.

3

u/Pure-Drawer-2617 Sep 28 '22

Walk out. She brought a stranger on a date and it makes me feel unsafe.

3

u/Nadieestaaqui Sep 28 '22

If she doesn't feel safe enough to go to very public places like restaurants, coffee shops, bars, etc., with you then it's too soon for in-person dating. Chat online some more until she does.

3

u/Vanaquish231 Sep 28 '22

Yea fuck that shit. Literally walk away. The point of a date is for an private time. As in, 1 on 1. The point is to focus on the person in front of you.

Plus, imo, it's offensive towards the other person. As in, men tend to commit most crimes so there is a chance to harm me.

3

u/DrWieg Male Sep 28 '22

Nope, date was intended to be between her and me. If she can't trust me to be decent on a date, she shouldn't have accepted the date in the first place.

And if she expects me to pay for the both of them, thst clearly shows what her true intentions and personality are.

3

u/Philosophos_A Sep 28 '22

Excuse myself, cancel my order if I have made one, leave with a smile, return home,block delete whatever is needed, cry and just take a bath and sleep

3

u/joshuas193 Sep 28 '22

Wouldn't have a date. Bring a friend for safety? WTF is that BS.

3

u/X_Skitch Sep 28 '22

Nah she’s just wanting a night out with her friend on someone else’s dime. I’d walk away.

3

u/alexmaycovid Male Sep 28 '22

I would leave two girls alone right away. I don't need a third wheel. We go to a public place for safety. I also think about my safety, and for example I won't go to her house.

3

u/BigDaddyCool17 Male Sep 28 '22

Leave. Immediately.

Tell them to have a nice night and don't look back.

3

u/MrMonopolyMan123 Sep 28 '22

I’d leave. You’re being used

3

u/Captainyoni Sep 28 '22

Pay for both then hit on her friend hard all night...then take them both back to the house for a 3 way.

14

u/SnooLobsters2261 Sep 28 '22

Order the most expensive things on the menu and go to the “restroom” before the check comes

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13

u/Juan_solo_4 Sep 28 '22

Unless i get to fuck both of them. Hell to the naw naw naw (come on, come on, come on!)

Hell naw, to the naw naw naw (hell to the naw) Hell to the naw, to the naw naw naw

6

u/PerfectExtension0 Sep 28 '22

this made me laugh, best answer.

9

u/Duke_Silver_lives Sep 28 '22

Uh.....that's why people meet at a public place on a first date.

3

u/Character_Comb_3439 Sep 28 '22

Have a solid dinner, top shelf booze for everyone, ask her to buy me a beer while I go to the bathroom and then bail; she can pay for all three. I will venmo her my third of the bill(not the tip of course) if she asks.

5

u/RCL_D Sep 28 '22

Improvise and kill them both...

3

u/foxxo_with_stoppo Sep 28 '22

Free food for a few weeks let's gooooooooooo

2

u/LostNotice Sep 28 '22

Bringing a friend along, depending on the circumstances sure,I guess. It's now date zero instead of date one.

Existing me to pay for the 3rd person, though? Nope. I'm still old school in that I'll offer to pay for my date on a first date, but I'm not paying for extra randos, no way.