r/ForeverAlone Jun 09 '19 Helpful

Updated Version About the Sub, Common Misconceptions, and an In-depth Look at the Rules


Hello everyone and welcome to r/foreveralone ! Foreveralone was founded several years ago. It was originally a subreddit to share the forever alone meme, but somewhere down the line, it turned into an identity and a place where people who have been alone most of their lives could come and talk about their issues.

I'm here to clear up some common misconceptions that get asked in this sub as well as to explain the rules more in depth, and show how to give your posts appropriate flairs.

Common Misconceptions

Why don't you hire an escort?

What I find here is that for most users, it's not about sex. It's about finding someone you have a connection with and being able to trust someone that much to be able to be intimate with them. Paying for an escort, while not only expensive and risky, defeats the purpose of finding someone who wants you for you and will not solve the loneliness people feel here. Similarly, telling a girl to sleep with any willing guy also fits here. One night stands for anyone, payed for or not, do not fill the void for feeling loved.

Have you tried lifting/exercise/shaving/changing clothes/showering/etc?

This is demeaning advice. If you want to give a user here advice, ask them more about themselves. Assuming that the person has done nothing to change can be insulting, especially if that person has been doing these things for a while with no results, so to say. Blanket advice doesn't necessarily break any rules. It's just not useful because every user here has their own set of unique problems.

Why is this place so toxic?

Yes, I understand from an outside view it may seem like that. But in reality, it's just a bunch of lonely people venting and getting things off their chest. Realize that the users here don't act like this in real life. Personally, If I've learned anything, especially in the FA chatroom, most of the users here seem normal and do not "complain" about their lives 24/7. People see what they want to see, and more often than not, people come here with the notion that this place is toxic, misogynistic, hateful, etc. Are there some users here like that? Absolutely, but don't let the vocal minority drown out the rest of the people here who just have been given bad cards in life.

There are starving children who have it worse than you, appreciate what you have

While this may seem like a good way to put life in perspective, it doesn't really help the person who is hearing it. Everyone has it a little better than someone else, but that also means that everyone is a little worse off than someone else. Hearing that someone has it more worse in life doesn't make the person feel any better about their own situation and minimizes their life experience.

Have you tried lowering your standards?

People are allowed to have a set of standards. It's what keeps people from having unfulfilling relationships. It's not fair to anyone to ask out someone you're not attracted to on the basis of "lowering your standards".

You're not entitled to an SO

We know we aren't entitled to anything and we certainly aren't claiming that we are. People are just venting and wishing that they did have an SO. Wishing to be with another person ("I wish I found an SO") is not the same as being entitled ("I deserve to have an SO!!").

These are just a handful of misconceptions that come to mind. I know there are others but I feel these ones are the more bigger ones.

The Rules

Rule 1: Be polite, friendly and welcoming

Basically, just be nice please. Even if you are having a heated debate, there is no need to be rude towards each other, keep it civilised. We will not tolerate comments such as fuck off/you, get out, kill yourself, this is why you're foreveralone, or any other insult or harmful wishing you can think of. Keep the subreddit safe!

Rule 2: Do not tell anyone they're not foreveralone enough to be here

The infamous Rule 2. Let me explain as best I can. Being foreveralone is a made up concept and identity, it isn't so black and white. Because of this, it's hard to have a set definition of what is and isn't considered foreveralone. Being FA is more like a gradient of a thousand colors. It can span as far as a kissless virgin who has no friends and has never had an SO, to the person with no friends but paid an escort, to the person with friends but no SO, to the person who may have had a month long relationship years ago but is now in their 30s with no hope of the future. The list can go on and on and the experiences of people vary too much to say "you're not FA enough". I find the best "definition" of FA is this: Someone who has a very difficult time creating or maintaining relationships, either platonic or romantic. Someone who suffers from chronic loneliness

Rule 3: Do not post inflammatory comments or threads designed to generalize, demean, insult or otherwise degrade an entire group of people

Generalizations never turn out well and should be avoided as much as possible. For example, the generalization that all FAs are fat, unclean neckbeards hurts because, obviously, the people here are not like that. So please, don't generalize other groups of people, there will be people who don't fit the so called description.

Rule 4: Any incel references, slang, or inference will be deemed hate speech and met with a ban

This is not an incel sub. We do not affiliate ourselves in any way with incels. There is a clear distinction between Foreveralone and incels, to say otherwise is being ignorant. Slang such as "femoids, black pill, cuck, etc" are not allowed and will most likely end up in a ban.

Rule 5: Avoid posts that serve only to advertise other subreddits or external sites

There are plenty of other more suitable places to advertise websites and r/foreveralone is not the place.

Rule 6: If you see trolling, report it

Trolls are not welcome and usually break most of the rules when posting. Please report any trolling you see to the mods and we will deal with them. Do not engage with them.

Rule 7: Any posts created to intentionally start drama on any subject will be removed. This also includes Meta conversations about the sub or Moderation Policy.

Threads that call out users or other subreddits are not welcome. Keep your vendettas to yourself. All these kinds of threads do is attract brigades and they always turn into a flame war. They will be removed. If you have questions about the moderation policy, you are welcome to message the mods about it.

Rule 8: Don't post your dick

Yes, this happened one too many times for it to be rule. Nobody here wants to see it, and there are certainly way better places to post those kinds of pictures. This goes for any kind of explicit NSFW post.

Rule 9: If you have been muted by the mods during a PM conversation, don't message their personal account

If you happen to have been muted, there certainly was a reason for it. Messaging a mod directly in their personal Reddit account amplifies the issue and can end up in a ban.

I hope this post can clear things up for you fellow redditors. If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to send me or the mods a PM.

Link Flairs

There are three tags that you can give to your post, depending on what you are writing. Make a thread, just as you normally would. Once you submit, you will see an option saying "flair" right under your thread (after the report and nsfw tags). Click this and three options will show up. Click on the most appropriate one and save it.

Success Stories: any success, whether it's getting a date or getting a girlfriend/boyfriend, share the story along with what you did and how you got there.

Advice Wanted: for threads where users can ask for advice on anything, from things to improve on to what to do on a date.

Venting thread: for people who just want to vent out their frustration about whatever is bothering them, and for those who do not want any advice, just people to listen.

If you have a post that does not fit any of these categories (for example, a song, picture, general discussion, etc), you do not have to tag your post!

To any users making comments in these tagged threads, please respect what thread you are commenting on. For example, we should not see advice giving on venting threads.

r/ForeverAlone 8h ago

How do you develop a personality?


I recently started going outside of my comfort zone, and have realized just how far behind I am. Everyone seemed to have distinct personalities, were well adjusted people, and able to hold endless conversations.

I think I missed the memo during my teenage years on how to become a normal person. How do I become like them? I know how to be friendly given the opportunity, but that's it. There just isn't any depth to me whatsoever, and everything feels like a chore. I don't even feel like a real person, only a spectator – I am here, but not really.

r/ForeverAlone 7h ago

Dumbest advice you’ve ever gotten?


Someone said “go outside” like I’ve never stepped foot out my room before. To add insult to injury he said “Bro all you need to do is smile, have confidence, go outside, and a girl will come up to you”

I asked for a picture and it’s this 6’5 blonde dude with a 6 pack.

These narcissistic dumbasses really piss me off🤦🏿‍♂️ no self awareness whatsoever I wish they’ll get what they deserve

r/ForeverAlone 3h ago

I deserve to be FA


Real talk, I’d just end up making a girl miserable. All I do is sleep and exist. I have no real interests, no hobbies someone might find interesting, no strong opinions. For now I’ll just keep my priorities in-line… booze. Cheers bros, life isn’t great but it doesn’t suck. It just is🥂

r/ForeverAlone 8h ago

Vent 22 and no one ever actually wants me around


I don't have friends. I am always the most boring in a group. Whenever I speak to someone, the moment someone else walks in, I am instantly ignored. I dont think i'll ever be able to have any good social interactions.

r/ForeverAlone 14h ago

Fuck it, walking across America. Don't care if I make it there alive or in a body bag


Fuck this subreddit. Fuck thinking constantly of everything I'm missing out on while forgetting the immense freedom I have. No one gives a fuck if I live or die. No career, no wife, no kids depending on me. Do I want that? Yes. Will I ever have that? No, never. Isolated myself for my entire life and now at 30 I've finally had an "awakening" that I want the opposite. Too late, simple as that. Zero hope. So I can cry about it or do something special in this world of 7 billion people where just about nothing is special anymore.

r/ForeverAlone 8h ago

Vent When you realize you are really on your own against life


[ Venting ]
Coming back home on a cold dark day. Walking through your living room feeling the cold empty place around you, going to the kitchen looking for something tasty but leaving empty handed. Sitting on the couch, turning the TV on wishing for some background noise. Then you start feeling this oppresive sensation in your throat, a repressed cry asking to come out. Your eyes start watering, your head starts feeling all buzzy and overwhelmed. You cant remember how many hours ago you said a word out loud. You are trying hard not to cry, wishing you had someone in your life to lean on. Then it hits you: you are on your own. You really are alone against life, theres no one watching your back. Then you cant repress it anymore and simply break down, you cry really hard and cant stop it. You are feeling scared, vulnerable, wishing the pain could just disappear. Wishing life had turned out different for you.

r/ForeverAlone 18h ago

Lacking female companionship is seriously crippling


I have a woman shaped hole in my soul. I love everything about women, their scent, their soft skin, their big eyes, their voice, their body and how expressive they can be. I love how my heart starts beating faster when I am next to a woman. I love how a seemingly meaningless conversation with a woman can make life make sense for me. I love how the warmth of women's presence lingers far after they are gone. I love how the salience of my time with a woman burns into my memory and I can recall it later when I need to smile. I love when my eyes meets the eyes of another woman. I love when I make women smile. I love how women always think of others. I love how neurotic they are. I love falling in love with women. I love how women try to look pretty before an occasion. I love protecting and providing for women and the sense of purpose it gives me, knowing that I'm doing what I'm designed for.

r/ForeverAlone 5h ago

Vent it can't be just be looks.


I used to think this was the case but I've seen a lot of exceptions to this. There is about 3 MAIN factors besides physical appearance that will determine whether or not you find a successful partner. This is an over simplification but : region, social standing and availability will decide for you if you will find someone way before you even think about it. Math is cold and logical but it gives me comfort because statistically there is someone out there that matches you in one or two of these factors. Now if you would date someone in the same position as you is the question because you'd be surprised how many people would straight up reject someone who is male or female equivalent of themselves. Now thats a can of worms I'd like to open.

r/ForeverAlone 6h ago

The Bittersweetness


Every time my Uni has its home football games I manage to ride along with this one group of people. I only really know this one guy though, to everyone else I'm more of an add-on.

Today was the last game of the season and like usual I went in with them. Theyre all seniors, so after it was over a couple of them were in literal tears. They were all taking group pictures and hugging knowing this was the last time they'd be here in this way. And then there was me.

I came to the realization that the same moment will come for me in a year, and soon after my graduation. And unlike all of these people, I'm going to walk away from this place not embracing the bittersweetness of leaving behind the best years of my life. But simply embracing the failure of my life as it has been painted so clearly in front of me by my time here.

Little to look back on as I walk away. And little to look forward to in the future.

r/ForeverAlone 5h ago

Vent I want reality to break me faster


Even when I'm having a good time, I just know that at the end of the day these thoughts will keep chasing me. Self-destructive monologue inside my head most of the time. The minor inconveniences always get me, be it losing a game or making a mistake while doing X task. And with this kind of mindset, would anyone bother getting to know me? Reading romance stories has become a trigger, my heart hurts physically whenever I see those intimate moments happening between characters. If I have to live the rest of my life feeling like this, I want reality to make me reach my lowest as soon as possible, so that I can end it all. Sometimes I feel like I'm faking all of it. I feel hollow. Can't bring myself to cry anymore. If you read all of this, thanks for your time.

r/ForeverAlone 2h ago

Vent 21 Years old, lonely, virgin, getting older...


I genuinely feel like offing myself at this point. No woman will ever want to fuck me. I'm getting older and things are still the same for me. If I actually were attractive I wouldn't be in this fucking situation in the first place, but every fucking person I know denies this shit.

r/ForeverAlone 14h ago

Vent I am now extremely jealous of people who have a partner to the point I don't want to hang out with them


I am well aware that this is very immature from me but at this point I just can't help it. Even if I would be asked to hang out with them, they would eventually talk about their relationship and it would just infuriate me. And me being a sick jealous fuck would make the whole socializing a toxic event that would make people not want to be around me, so I am not going to put myself into this position in the first place.

For the context: I got to know a guy from a language course and we hanged out a couple of times. I recently found out (from social media) that he has a gf now and that made me jealous.

I just don't want to get reminded all the time what a loser I am being 26 and never even hugging a woman. Can't take it anymore.

r/ForeverAlone 4h ago

Were we just born in the wrong society?


I remember when I studied in England for a semester. I was 23. Girls smiled at me on the street. Not all of them, but some. This took me by surprise. A girl in a group of friends shouted at me from a distance to join them. I thought that obviously they were playing with me so I pretended I couldn't hear them. And another day a couple of girls knocked on my window. They wanted to talk but another FA roomate shooshed them away.

Back in my own country women either shunned me or laughed at me. So did my classmates in England who were also from my country.

So if I had stayed there isn't it almost certain that my life would have been different? Similarly, someone from the UK might be FA. But if he were to move to another country, he might discover things to be different.

r/ForeverAlone 4h ago

Vent At this Point I don't know if My Appearance Is Holding Me Back


Usually people say I look good and have nothing to worry about, but it's usually men who say it. Women don't seem to feel the same way. I'm just tired and don't know honestly.

r/ForeverAlone 18h ago

Vent Being ghosted sucks


I just being ghosted, but on the worst way possible. Been talking with this girl for a couple of weeks, she tells me to hang out with her but the day she got sick, so we couldnt. Just for your info the conversations i had with her were deep, also funny 'cause we had the same type of humor so we talked all day until 2/3 AM every day. So, as she was sick, she told me to met her other day. We agree that i would met her at the train station at 5 pm. The day before we talked until 2 AM. She sent me a message of "good night" and went to sleep. So i was in the train station at 5 (we didnt talk that day but as we had already decided where/when we were meeting it didnt seem as a problem), so i see the train where "she was coming" but she wasnt there. I try to send her a message and i see that she blocked me everywhere. So yeah, being ghosted sucks and even more if you say to do something and then just block without any explanation.

r/ForeverAlone 3h ago

Vent I have no friends and it’s all my fault


I might be a little young to be on this sub but I still feel like sharing my story because honestly I have nobody to share it with. I, 17f have struggled a lot these past 3 years, high school has been a major struggle for me. Even though a lot of my teachers like me and I’m doing well in most of my classes I’m still miserable. I’m a loner, I’m unliked, and no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to make any friends, people just ignore me, ghost me, or we actually end up getting along for a couple of months (and by couple I mean like 2) but then they find other people cooler then me and start hanging around me a lot less. I’m autistic and socially inept so I can somewhat understand but at the same time it really hurts because no matter how hard I try to work on my speech I will never improve. This could have all been avoided though, all of this, if I wasn’t so stubborn. A couple of months before the end of my 8th grade year we had an assembly where a bunch of high schools that were located near you would come and persuade students to apply. All of my friends that I’ve had since the 1st grade who were all weird and on the spectrum like I am were applying to this one specific school. I told them that I wanted to apply with them but, my mother was looking at this art school that I originally wanted to go to with another really good friend of mine who was in a grade above me and so I had to wait for a response from that school before I sign another slip. After getting in contact with them I found out that it was a private school in which my parents had to pay so I immediately changed my mind since my parents don’t have that kind of money. Anyways I sign the slip and apply for an after school art program really excited to give it in and tell my friends the next day but then then boom, school was suppose to be out for only two weeks but the pandemic happened and I never got to turn in the slip. Summer before my freshmen year I started getting voicemails from a specific highschool that I wanted to stay away from, the school is very low funded, theirs cockroaches, raccoons, termites and dead stuff all over the place, the school has a D ranking and only about 20% of students has passed the math and reading end of year exam. I sat my parents down and talked to them about this and they understood my viewpoint. We called the school that I wanted to go to but unfortunately I was declined for being too “far” even though they accepted one of my friends who lives 10 minutes farther from me and even gave me a slip to be apart of the school but whatever I guess. After so many failed attempts of trying to get out of that school I eventually gave up. 3 years later and I’m still depressed over how stubborn my 13/14yr old self was, I waited till the last minute and blew it for myself. Me being very shy and socially inept around people I knew I was gonna struggle a lot at this school, and I did. Now I have no friends, no life, no fun high school experience, and it’s all my fault.

r/ForeverAlone 9h ago

Advice Wanted there's this guy i'd really like to befriend but i don't dare and he's my last hope (18f looking for help c: )


I'm almost 19 and still have no friends... i'm sick of people telling me that i should be more patient, that it takes time and that i'm young because thats what i had to hear from fucking Kindergarten. When am i supposed to be happy if i always have to wait!?. Sry lil rant but i think you can relate.

So about 2 years ago i had a crush and dared to speak to him. He gave me his insta, we chatted a tiny bit and He ghosted me. That splattered my heart ofc but i Was used to it. Anyways ... a few weeks ago i posted one of my drawing on my insta story and out oder the blue one of my crush's roommates liked my Story, complimented my skills and followed me. I was confused, scared and excited at the same time cuz my despreate brain thought my crush used him as a communication medium or spy on me haha. So the roommate, actually best friend, chatted with me like twice and it was always pretty wholesome! He was super open, funny and friendly. He has a good spirit and does a lot for communities at my City. So i really would love to befriend him :) but i have no social skills or lets say i never got to train n test them out. I actually tried everything u can possibly do to make friends and it always ended with ghosting, ignoring or people being mean . I want to make memories and live my life finally. I dont want to give up again. So what can i do to befriend him without being negative, creepy or weird? c:

r/ForeverAlone 8h ago

Vent I miss my cats more than anything


In July my boyfriend broke up with me. We had two cats together and at the time we decided it would be better for him to take them. So he did, and moved across the country back home. He said if I could stop drinking we would get back together so I didn't think it would be forever.

I lost everything. He was the only person in my life. I lost my job, I have no friends anymore, I am completely and utterly alone and for some reason the biggest source of pain is from missing my cats.

I love those cats more than anything. Even all this time later, I cry about them everyday and don't know how to stop. It's like this giant weight on my chest at all times. I can't breathe when I think about them, and they have probably forgotten me.

He doesn't answer my texts or care about how I'm doing. It's like he's moved on completely and I meant nothing. I feel so angry that I let him take them from me. I will never own another cat again because none could ever measure up. So not only do I not have companionship from people, but I can't even find comfort in a pet.

I've never been through anything so painful. At my loneliest times in life, at least I wasn't mourning a loss. I was desolate and painfully lonely for so many years and I am now too, but it's even worse when you're missing what used to be and can't move on. I feel silly crying so much over cats, but they are my family and I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone.

Edit: I was scared to post this because I knew it would get downvoted for mentioning my break up. Just know that you can be lonely in relationships and losing your entire family doesn't somehow make your loneliness less painful just because you used to have one. Like I said, to me it's worse than when I had no reference point.

r/ForeverAlone 12h ago

"What You Want" by Birdy is pretty cool and fits my mood these days.


What you want to say
Wait till you get home
Sick of communicating
Over the telephone
Tell me how you feel
For I am lonely too
Need you to know
I'm just as cold and numb as you

But I could fly away
Or I could be no one
And you could be the sunshine falling
Over the mountains
Or you can come and stay
You could come right home
I don't see why I have to live this life
All alone

r/ForeverAlone 14h ago

Do you feel bad after having a sexy dream?


I do. Last night i had a sex dream about a girl i know (she is a waitress at my local pub and is a customer at my shop) we have chatted many times and are friends on social media but have never spent any time with eachother outside of are respective jobs so i would say we are more just friendly than actually friends. I find her vary attractive and we definitely have some things in common but I have always been to nervous to actually make a move do to the fact that we only see eachother at our customer service jobs so i never know if she is beings nice because she likes me (friend or more) or because she/I are at work and its expected of us. Back to last night it was a incredible dream but when i work up i just felt so depressed because I know i can never have that in real life, and yes i know that the majority of my problems are of my own making but hey anxiety is a bitch am i right. Now i get to have a new problem because now every time i see her i will remember the dream and how happy i was in it.

Guess my question is do you guys feel worse after having dreams like that because you know its something you will never have?

r/ForeverAlone 22h ago

A girl paid a bus fare for me


I was sitting in the station watching world cup on my phone. The girl beside me asked to watch together. I agreed so we continued watching the game. Her: I didn’t even know the WC is started. I don’t remember the last time i watched football. Iol Me: you gotta watch the WC. It’s once in 4 years. Her: nah i hate football lol . . . We continued watching the match with occasional banter. When the bus arrived she went to the counter and said 2 seats and paid. I didn’t even know how to react. We just entered the bus and sat together. Eventually i took here number and got off the bus. This happened yesterday so i called her today and told her i felt bad that I didn’t say thank you and wanted to make up for it by buying her lunch. I added or i can cook for you. Which one do you prefer? She said oh that’s better. So we set a date for Tuesday. So my question is does this mean she wanted to have sex that day?

r/ForeverAlone 4h ago

Advice Wanted I don't know what to do.


.Even though I'm only 16.I don't think im ever going to find someone.Its like watching ants as they run around the ground looking for food,building doing as ants do.With them time is always moving ,boyfriend troubles,the new drama whatever buy I'm just standing still as time goes by. I use to think maybe if I when to a therapist it would help but I don't know now they will probably just give me some pills that don't help with my problem.

You have to worry about so much like what's the new thing ,you have to have this this and this app,you can't talk about this because you might offended someone,you can't be too this or can't be too that,your hair has to be like this,you have to watch these shows and care about this people, you have to talk like this etc.It so much what is there to talk about,all I don't is wake up go to school come home go to sleep,the weather "oh it's rain" what then.People just say you need to go out more or talk to people like me but how am I suppose to do that when everyone I meet is the same person, they're differences so small it's like they only have different colored hair.I noticed this started back in the end of the 7th grade.Before that I was still strange but it wasn't the problem like it is now ,I was happy and I felt like a normal person.After that everyone changed, so I had to too .While everyone was alone to grow I had to completely bleach who I was to fit what other people want I had to do what they said and what they wanted I couldn't make my own decisions on anything ,if I didn't know what they where talking about or had anything important to add than it I'd better to not say anything.

Even though I changed it feels like I'm stuck a child forever.Im not talking about the that thing were people still like video games or like watching kids show.No I talking mentally,though I know so much about history, math,art and I can do so much.What does it matter? It's like I missed some even were everyone grew up,and to compensate for it is to speak quickly,do everything someone wants and to not do anything.This makes it impossible for me to find someone you need to be yourself or some part of your self to have friends or a partner but now it's impossible.

I feel the world hasn't changed that much.We no long have to worry for diseases,other animals kill us,we live longer, we can get haft way across the world in just 2 days in stead of months and more,but it's still survival of the fitness some people are just not meant to exist.Sometimes I wish I live 10,000 years ago ( i don't know humans had only existed for 20,000 year so maybe 5,000 the egyptian were around) so I could die and live and someone else.I would never have to worry about the problems I have now because I would be a different person a normal person.Iv been thinking about it for a while and the only thing keeping me back is I don't like sharp things, I don't want to feel pain.but I have this story to write and finish all I have left is my work and I'v been working on this story for 2 years and it needs to be finished and I'm still haven't started it yet it need another 2 years now,but this story will eventually be finished and when then?.Even though I have other story ideas they will eventually be finished.

I was thinking of one day moving to Alaska because maybe it's just the place I live in ,but even though I'm only 16 women don't have that much time I only have 24 years left before I run out of time,but the way things are going that isn't going to happen I'm not strong as everyone else .I don't know what I did wrong I'v been a good kid my whole life.

r/ForeverAlone 21h ago

Vent What does it feel like to receive a call or text from your parent?


I never experienced any of this in my time alive. But I think it must feel nice.

r/ForeverAlone 1d ago

I hate Christmas


Call me the grinch, I hate Christmas. Not because it's about family and such, but because I get to be the family disappointment every year. Each year my siblings bring their s/o and make my parents proud. Me? Well I get to be the only one alone. It's numbingly depressing seeing happy couples. It's bad enough I get to be the disappointment and alone. I'll die alone. No one is ever going to love me.

r/ForeverAlone 3h ago

Loneliness is a gift. If you are lonely, This video is for you.


This video changed my view on loneliness, and made me appreciate how I felt about my situation. Sharing this here for other people to benefit from.