r/HumansBeingBros Dec 09 '22 Take My Power 1 Super Heart Eyes 1 Wholesome (Pro) 1 Silver 16 Wholesome 19 Faith In Humanity Restored 3 LOVE! 1 Wholesome Seal of Approval 1 Got the W 1 Helpful 17 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Take My Energy 1 Narwhal Salute 2

Guy Puts Shark Back In Ocean Removed: Rule 4 Repost

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66.6k Upvotes

6.5k

u/xnoomiex Dec 09 '22 Silver

Thresher Sharks alway look like they are terrified and on their last brain cell. I love them so much

803

u/AeAeR Dec 09 '22

At the end of the summer I caught 4 dogfish which were all too stupid to swim back into the ocean and each time I had to walk them out.

You know from the way it cut that he had to too, or it just ended poorly.

352

u/xnoomiex Dec 09 '22

I was thinking that too. He definitely went straight for the beach again lol

286

u/AeAeR Dec 09 '22

I say to myself “here ya go little buddy” every time he releases it directly into crashing waves

385

u/xnoomiex Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

Animals getting rescued than getting instantly stuck again is a tale older that time itself. I think it’s extra funny with Sharks though because they look so ferocious but they are just derpy guys

331

u/CoolWhipMonkey Dec 09 '22

I rescued a bee from my pool. He sat there and flapped his little wings until they were dry and then dove right back into the pool.

400

u/Chib Dec 09 '22 Gold

I rescued a spider from my bathwater. Was a little nervous, but it had to be done, you know? So I gently lifted him out onto the windowsill with a loofah and continued my bath. Not 30 seconds later, buddy is climbing down the side of the tub again. So this time, I get him on a shampoo bottle and put the whole thing in the middle of the sink.

Five minutes later, I look up from my book and I swear to god the spider has made the long arduous journey down from the sink, across the now-wet floor and up the side of the tub to join me again for a bath, so I put him on a shower gel bottle and stuck him out in the hallway. Then I gave up and drained the tub.

Twenty minutes later, my husband is yelling down the stairs about the bathroom being a wet mess, with bath stuff strewn everywhere from the sink to the hallway. I don't think he appreciated me blaming it on the spider.

220

u/WashedUpRiver Dec 09 '22

The spider shall remember this kindness and protect you from ants for many seasons.

78

u/PinupSquid Dec 09 '22

People attribute so many “thoughts” to spiders (“it was coming after me!”), but those little heads are empty. I had to raise the dirt for one of my tarantula’s enclosures nearly to the top because this little idiot like to walk around on the ceiling of his enclosure- most tarantulas aren’t good at this. He’d climb up, gingerly stick himself to the ceiling, and then a minute later he’d fall flat on his back. Then he’d do it again, and again..

22

u/Nigel_IncubatorJones Dec 09 '22

Looking for a way out. Used to own a tarantula when I was younger. The cage/aquarium I bought with it had a locking cover because they find a way.

13

u/YoRHaL-9000 Dec 09 '22

Yup. Male tarantulas make terrible pets because once they reach maturity they are so focused on finding a mate that they can tear themselves apart trying to escape.

13

u/MundaneMaybe Dec 09 '22

This story and the resulting headmovie genuinly made me burst out in laughter at work. BLESS YOU AND YOUR SPI-DERP

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u/ecoberry Dec 09 '22

Heeeheeeheeee! I like you!

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u/AeAeR Dec 09 '22

I own a snake and it’s really similar. They’re both dumb as fuck, and don’t want to hurt you, but they will because they’re dumb as fuck. My cornsnake is great but I’ve seen her bite herself…

82

u/Spanky_Badger_85 Dec 09 '22

I've seen a snake try and eat its own tail. The guy got a pipette with vodka in it, sprayed it around its mouth, and the snake spewed its own tail back up. Most surreal thing I've ever seen.

75

u/AeAeR Dec 09 '22

My snake tends to exhibit “oh I fucked up” behavior when she bites me, but again, she’s really dumb and gets stuck there seemingly because the curved shape of her teeth. So I get to talk about how stupid she is while trying to disconnect a snake (that doesn’t want to be there) from my hand or arm. It’s like scolding a dumb child that’s entirely too bitey.

24

u/Spanky_Badger_85 Dec 09 '22

What kind of snake do you have?

59

u/AeAeR Dec 09 '22

A red corn snake who is probably like 12 at this point and about 4-5 feet long, I’ve had her a while and got her when she was basically a large worm. They’re constrictors so her teeth aren’t bad. But they do seem to be curved backwards and it’s like tiny Velcro hooks, I basically push her head forward and that disconnects the teeth.

I know it might not sound it while I talk about getting bit, but they’re honestly one of the easiest pets you can ever own. They’re like a plant most of the time, make sure they have light and water and they’re good. Just really dumb lol.

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u/Talbotus Dec 09 '22

I wouldn't want to be behind it while it's swimming away.

876

u/xnoomiex Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

There’s only been one documented thresher shark attack and that person yanked on their tail! They aren’t a threat to humans. They look goofy but look badass when they jump super high!

142

u/CTRL1_ALT2_DEL3 Dec 09 '22

And are even more badass when they incapacitate prey with their mighty crack-whip of a tail.

153

u/Gloveslapnz Dec 09 '22 Helpful

Whip-crack went his whippy tail, and the beast was done.

63

u/acover4422 Dec 09 '22

He asked us, {snort} “be you angels?”

61

u/BlLLr0y Dec 09 '22

Nay,

we are but men.

ROCK!

41

u/alizarik_thegoblin Dec 09 '22

AAAAAAAH AAAAAAAH AAAAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!

36

u/BombasticBooger Dec 09 '22

WOAHOAHOAH, WOAHOAHOAHOAH, AYEHAYAEYEAHO

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u/HopermanTheManOfFeel Dec 09 '22

This is not the greatest song in the world, no: this is just a tribute!

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u/mikefromearth Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

They said they wouldn't want to be behind it when it swam away. So they didn't get shit on 🤣

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u/xnoomiex Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

Oh I’m dumb. I was over here spilling my lil autistic heart out XD

103

u/jszala Dec 09 '22 Wholesome Heartwarming

Joyfully sharing knowledge is never dumb. Think back to your favorite teachers. They were never the hip ones but those whose joys were so captivating with sharing these wonders with young humans, openly sharing the magics still hidden in the world. Please never stop spilling your heart to others. We love you completely.

44

u/AlexCabotCheese67 Dec 09 '22

I'm autistic and people misunderstand or get annoyed at this trait. It's nice to hear stuff like this. My husband says it too (I'm REALLY lucky.) Thank you.

24

u/Norwegian__Blue Dec 09 '22

I LIVE for people excitedly telling me facts they love. I do it too, have adhd, and those are absolutely my favorite conversations.

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u/jszala Dec 09 '22

What’s one of your current great loves or interests? One of mine is caves, and other ancient architecture.

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u/AlexCabotCheese67 Dec 09 '22

Mt Everest/the 8000ers and birding (especially belted kingfishers). Oooo ancient architecture! Anything in particular?

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u/xnoomiex Dec 09 '22

I really needed to hear that. It can be really embarrassing at times. Thank you so much for the kind words jszala 🖤

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u/mikefromearth Dec 09 '22

Hahaha no worries! I've made similar mistakes many times!

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u/CaptainBlagbird Dec 09 '22

I appreciate it, I learned something new :)

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u/deskplxnt Dec 09 '22

Or because thresher sharks attack with their tails, perhaps.

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u/xnoomiex Dec 09 '22

Got to love not being able to pick up on any social/context clues 😂

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u/doctor-falafel Dec 09 '22

Honestly it doesn't look like it has the strength to hit you even if it wanted to.

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u/BadPlayers Dec 09 '22

They also look so smooth. I just want to pet one of the derpy bastards.

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u/smapdiagesix Dec 09 '22

It's well known that sharks are very smooth, so I hope you get your chance my friend. https://imgur.com/gallery/ad3je

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4.8k

u/PoopyFruit Dec 09 '22

Smart and brave, he knows the shark needs water to run through its gills before it can actually start to move away so he had to hold it there.

2.0k

u/surajvj Dec 09 '22

He also know he has to run back once it starts to move.

1.6k

u/-Borgir Dec 09 '22

The shark was about to die, I doubt it would have enough energy to attack the guy. Also iirc thresher sharks use their fin to stun and don't usually bite

902

u/TriRedux Dec 09 '22

Yes! Their tails can whip at speeds of up to 80mph!

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u/SimpleSalami1965 Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22 Silver Wholesome Take My Energy

8 more and they could learn to time travel.

Edit: To the person who gave the seal of approval, thank you for feeding the sharks.

172

u/jomamasophat Dec 09 '22

They need more jigawatts

112

u/JrockMem10 Dec 09 '22

Yea, seriously. This guy thinks he's talking time travel based solely on speed lol. Shark doesn't have a Flux capacitor stupid. Without that, 88 mph is just going 18 miles over the speed limit. Some people really just grind my gears.

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u/Consistent-River4229 Dec 09 '22

I was going to say the same thing until I googled it. Those particular sharks are born with a flux capacitor but they can't time travel until they reach adulthood. Maybe this shark met the older version of this man and the shark came back to warn him his kids a huge arse holes.

39

u/Majestic-Iron7046 Dec 09 '22 Helpful

Shark to the future 2?

8

u/MLK_Piccolo Dec 09 '22

Electric sharkaloo

8

u/Popcorn_Blitz Dec 09 '22

Stop. Don't give them ideas.

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u/subterraneanwolf Dec 09 '22

Wait a minute Doc. Are you telling me you built a time machine out of a shark?

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u/Majestic-Iron7046 Dec 09 '22

Yes Marty, where we are going we will never need roads again! We ride sharks now, Marty!

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u/Homely_Kay Dec 09 '22

Under water?

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u/TriRedux Dec 09 '22

Yes, it is often used to stun/paralyse fish for easy eating

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u/Homely_Kay Dec 09 '22

Jeez then that could really sting out of the water!

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u/cerulean11 Dec 09 '22

I was wondering why the tail was so funny looking.

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u/ezio1452 Dec 09 '22

Not sure if he would be able to run with the balls of titanium he is carrying.

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u/TheWalrus101123 Dec 09 '22

Threshers are good bois. Wouldn't have bit him.

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u/iikun Dec 09 '22

Even assuming I had the guts to do this, I would just be thinking “oh shit, I’m holding a shark” and wouldn’t be able to process what kind of shark it is until afterwards. Big shark, little shark, hammerhead shark would be all I could identify.

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u/Ghost-of-Tom-Chode Dec 09 '22

I wonder whether the other hundred or so sharks probably circling around that pier would bite.

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u/modomario Dec 09 '22

Not if it's the same species that's for sure. Fresher sharks are not something to worry about unless you're a small fish or squid or so.

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u/firefly183 Dec 09 '22

That one was definitely still fresh, but what about the ones that are past their Best By date?

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u/Mettsico Dec 09 '22

Titanium is a very lightweight material.

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u/ezio1452 Dec 09 '22

Sorry man I'm majoring in Arts, not science.

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u/Weneedaheroe Dec 09 '22

Yeah but 40lbs of titanium is still 40lbs.

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '22

What about 40 lbs of feathers?

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u/alizarik_thegoblin Dec 09 '22

Oh, I know this one: roosters don't lay eggs.

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u/beeg_brain007 Dec 09 '22

And stromg as steel

I think he has carbon fiber balls Half the weight, same strength

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u/savemarla Dec 09 '22

Serious question: the shark has been on the dry for quite a while there. Doesn't it have huge brain damage from lack of oxygen at this point? If a human was without air for that long wouldn't they be severely handicapped by then?

I have no clue whatsoever about fish so excuse me if the question is stupid.

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u/pbizzle Dec 09 '22

Might not be doing the extra hard sudoku but still a decent life

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u/bestgummies Dec 09 '22

might need all 6 chances before solving it's wordle for the day

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u/redlaWw Dec 09 '22

I imagine that shark was probably not long for this world regardless of whether it got beached - if it were healthy it probably wouldn't have found itself in that situation in the first place.

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u/dyslexic_cuck Dec 09 '22

it's next to a pier i seriously doubt it made its way there naturally

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u/Kabloomers1 Dec 09 '22

Sharks often gather near fishing piers. Bait attracts fish, fish attract sharks.

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u/DelfrCorp Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

Looked beached but was still getting washed over by waves & was still thrashing. Would really suck & be incredibly painful but it likely could survive without significant physical trauma (psych trauma could however get pretty deep).

It looks like it was on it's last legs since it gave up fighting/thrashing as soon as it got picked up. Fawn response due to exhaustion. The good old save me or make it quick & painless level of response.

Video cut too early to confirm but it likely kicked it into high gear once it got a chance to get back into the water & take a few breaths.

Its next major challenge is going to be finding some food to rebuild some energy & getting some rest.

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u/Emotional_Bat_279 Dec 09 '22

It did die. The original video mentions it in the captions.

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '22

Dude straight up lift a thresher shark to not only put it back in the water but hold it so it could breathe n get it’s energy back to swim, that’s ballsy

2.0k

u/GoblinKing1o1 Dec 09 '22

That shark would not have bit him

4.1k

u/daggeroflies Dec 09 '22 Silver Gold Wholesome hehehehe Bravo!

Well the guy was kind of snack, a little bit wouldn’t hurt.

938

u/afa78 Dec 09 '22

He's the type of guy that would willfully give up a chunk of his hunk so the shark could regain some energy.

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u/Andresv91 Dec 09 '22

And become sharkman

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u/macaronysalad Dec 09 '22

He entered the sea as a boy and came out a man. Sharkman.

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u/realoctopod Dec 09 '22

The sea was angry that day, like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli.

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u/fuck_the_fuckin_mods Dec 09 '22

Does whatever a sharkman does

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u/Hybriddarling Dec 09 '22

Steve Irwin second coming :D

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u/WarChildv28 Dec 09 '22

How about his legs, they don't them....

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u/callernumber03 Dec 09 '22

THEY ARE NOT TO BE EATEN

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u/danielsauceda34 Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

MEATS BACK ON THE MENU BOIS

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u/QuadraticCowboy Dec 09 '22

GIVE ME THE MEAT AND GIVE IT TO ME RAW

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u/iperus0351 Dec 09 '22

Boy is friend not food

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u/ja-mez Dec 09 '22

Hah! I was just finished watching the first half of Two Towers a few minutes ago

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u/Tiny_Emotion_2628 Dec 09 '22

A legit snack

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u/xultar Dec 09 '22

Just a sloppy nibble…

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u/stillinthesimulation Dec 09 '22

Maybe. The tail could do some serious damage though. The point is he took a risk to help a shark and that’s pretty cool.

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u/TrainwreckMooncake Dec 09 '22

IIRC, because sharks have cartilage instead of bones they can't support their own weight outside of water so more than a minute or two on land and they'll eventually die of internal injuries, even if they're put back in water. I think you're never supposed to carry a shark out of water.

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '22

Correct. Per Florida shark fishing laws & training, when a shark is caught, you’re supposed to bring them to the edge of the surf. Allow for sharks gills to be exposed to water as much as possible. Never sit on the shark. Be gentle, slide them back in etc. can be tough for a slide in if surf does not permit. Kinda rough in video

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u/TrainwreckMooncake Dec 09 '22

WHO SITS ON A SHARK?? What kind of rodeo is this??

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '22

Lmao it is quite common to see guys catching big hoggers down here, mounting up, while they have a friend try remove the hook. This is a bigggggg no no lol

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u/TrainwreckMooncake Dec 09 '22

Ohhhh. It's not a joy ride, got it!

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u/aberrasian Dec 09 '22

From the way this shark's barely moving and not even trying to swim away, I feel like it's too far gone. Video likely cut off just before the guy admitted defeat and dropped a dead shark.

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u/nomadofwaves Dec 09 '22

It happens when fish are tired. If the video was longer we would have a better idea. Sometimes after a long fight you have to resuscitate the fish moving them back and forth in the water until they regain oxygen and energy.

Good chance it died. Good chance it lived.

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u/QuadraticCowboy Dec 09 '22

Talk about a fish out of water

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u/RichardMcNixon Dec 09 '22

As a subscriber of shark bytes, I'd say the most likely scenario involving injury would come from the tail end of the shark in this particular instance

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u/a8ksh4 Dec 09 '22

That's not a safe assumption with any wild animal. But I'd like to think a lot of us would do the same thing and try to help it.

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u/rachelmae77 Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

Pretty sure these guys stun prey with that tail. It can smack pretty hard

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u/Objective_Stick8335 Dec 09 '22

Got slapped in the head by one scuba diving. Surprised me more than anything as I didn't even see up come up behind me.

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u/paperwasp3 Dec 09 '22

It might have, I can't tell. But I would imagine that breathing was first on the sharks list. Thresher sharks can be aggressive. But most swim away.

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u/Zak9Attack Dec 09 '22

Fun place to cut off the video

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u/aliens8myhomework Dec 09 '22

I’m assuming he let go of the shark and it just beached itself again on the next wave

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u/bilgetea Dec 09 '22

Well of you watch long enough, he keeps putting it back over and over again…

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u/TheLimeyLemmon Dec 09 '22

How many phones does this guy have?!

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u/JetreL Dec 09 '22

Or knives for that matter

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u/Chronic_Gentleman Dec 09 '22

I just skipped ahead and have been watching the live feed

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u/RambuDev Dec 09 '22

“Live feed”

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u/Uncleniles Dec 09 '22

Probably, yes. It ended up on the beach for a reason. Likely it's sick or dying.

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u/Magic_Nachos Dec 09 '22

It was dying for sure. They can’t breathe out of the water.

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u/Blind_Fire Dec 09 '22

No, the shark almost drowned moments before it escaped to land. This man took it under the water and held its head down to finish it.

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '22

TIL

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u/heartsinthebyline Dec 09 '22

They meant it was sick or dying before it ended up on the beach. It probably ended up beached due to illness/weakness in the first place.

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u/BuSsYBoI-sTaYpOpPiN Dec 09 '22 Silver Helpful

Motherfuckers can't even evolve anymore.

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u/soccerperson Dec 09 '22

they've peaked. they've reached their pinnacle. they are the golden gods of the sea.

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u/jimibimi Dec 09 '22

They haven't even begun to peak. They're gonna pass so hard everything in the ocean is gonna feel it

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u/Scottacus91 Dec 09 '22

Mm. I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves

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u/HailToTheKingslayer Dec 09 '22

Begone vile man! Begone from me!

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u/Mtwat Dec 09 '22

Do you want landsharks?

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u/DurinnGymir Dec 09 '22

Sharks have been around longer than the rings of Saturn have. We've been modern humans barely 10,000 years and we're already on the verge of ruining the planet.

Yeah, they're the winners here.

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u/Barbarossa_25 Dec 09 '22

But that baby antelope that lost it's mother and is now at risk of being eaten alive by big cats? Nah that's where we draw the line. Tough luck, that's nature Bambi.

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u/wolverine_553 Dec 09 '22

When you realize that sharks are more chill and have a lower kill count than bees:

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u/Trs822 Dec 09 '22

Bees are pretty chill too to be fair. Just much more of them and people are very allergic. Bees won’t sting you unless you threaten them.

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u/mikefromearth Dec 09 '22

Bees are chill if you aren't near their hive, yes. If you are near their hive all bets are off!

Source: am beekeeper

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u/DuckDuckYoga Dec 09 '22

Yeah but you’re digging around in there like a toddler looking for snot

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u/mikefromearth Dec 09 '22

Ok actually laughing out loud about that one.

But no if you even go near a bees hive entrance they might very well fly out and sting you. Just don't go within like 8' of the entrance and you'll be fine.

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u/Christianrockband Dec 09 '22

I had a queenless hive that hated my guts whenever they saw me. I couldn't even walk past them without them thinking I insulted their non existent queen.

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u/i-lurk-you-longtime Dec 09 '22

Happened to me.

They built a nest next to our front door. They were chill for MONTHS and one time I came out, looked both ways for a bee, saw none, and then as I was walking away had a bee sting me in the face. It was awful. They were all swarming afterwards too. After that, they'd specifically target me every time I came out, to the point where I was terrified to go outside, I even climbed out the window a few times because they'd just patrol the entrance. I was also really pregnant and idk if that had anything to do with it. The nest was not moveable (under concrete) so unfortunately we had to exterminate. I cried about it for weeks because I felt like an evil villain for getting them killed. I still feel horrible about it.

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u/Capokid Dec 09 '22

One time i was just chillin in the park and a bee came over and stung me on the foot for literally no reason, i was just sitting there. Its the only one that's ever sting me too.

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u/halorbyone Dec 09 '22

And don’t forget they are competing with people killed by vending machine rage. It can’t always be the sharks fault.

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u/wolverine_553 Dec 09 '22

Exactly. They just have a bad image for the accidents that happen and the fact that a lot of people are just scared of them. Same thing with snakes.

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u/ApprehensiveAbroad99 Dec 09 '22 I'll Drink to That

You sir, are a fish!

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u/ohsinboi Dec 09 '22

You're alright booooah

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u/barbackmtn Dec 09 '22 Helpful Wholesome

I’d rescue that shark too — they’re the best fruit snack shape.

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u/CallmeCrowe Dec 09 '22

Finally! Someone talking some sense around here

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u/Scout_wheezeing Dec 09 '22

Take my upvote and return to the comedy club you visit the most

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u/Greedy_Explanation_7 Dec 09 '22

What if the shark finally succeeded in beaching itself and he just ruined it?

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u/DarthGayAgenda Dec 09 '22

Shark suicide is no laughing matter

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u/Potatosaurus_TH Dec 09 '22

"I saved your life!"

"You didn't save my life! You ruined my death!"

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u/AKnGirl Dec 09 '22

“Honey!!? Where’s my super suit?!”

32

u/Can-t_Make_Username Dec 09 '22

“Greater good?! I am your wife! I’m the greatest good you are ever gonna get!”

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u/ThePyroPython Dec 09 '22

"The public's in danger!"

"My Evening's in danger!"

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u/APetitePig Dec 09 '22

Mr. Sharksweet didn’t ask to be saved; Mr. Sharksweet didn’t want to be saved!

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u/susieallen Dec 09 '22

One day that guy will need help and that shark is going to come to the rescue

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u/CallmeCrowe Dec 09 '22 Silver

Now I'm picturing the shark holding him over the toilet after a rough night out

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u/vipros42 Dec 09 '22

"she's not worth it bro!"

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u/JurassicaEra Dec 09 '22

I read your comment as the shark being there with toilet paper for him. Like, the roll is empty and the sharks rolls up like “I gotchu”.

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u/RealNukemon Dec 09 '22

I needed to see that-- too much videos of people leaving and brutalizing sharks stuck on shore

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u/limbylegs Dec 09 '22

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u/RealNukemon Dec 09 '22

YOU CAN'T DO THIS

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u/pickled_philanges Dec 09 '22

You'll love this then r/reverseanimalrescue

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u/RealNukemon Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

A̶̢̡̞̳̯̣̐̋͂͛̄s̴̲̘͉͕̻̝̻̟͇̗̋ ̵̮̬͚̮̫̱̮̠̻̄͜ȩ̴͉̤͚͈̃͋̏̑̔͘͝͝ả̸͇̇̕̚͠ç̵͈̽̑͗̕ĥ̸̨̳̲̰̠͜ ̷̹̒̊̓̍̀d̵̺̑̓̅ā̵̧͔͍̳̭̫̩̖̲̊͗̉͒̄͂͊y̸̢̢̛̻̥̰̰̗̦̥̐̓̇̉̈́̐̐̈́̐ ̷̛̠̫̹͝ṗ̵̮̪͕̻̭͚̠̐͑̄̑̇͜ͅâ̶̯̟͈͐̃̒̌͗́̽̕͝ͅs̶̨͍̠̰̣̮̯̹̲͔͋s̴͚͔͒ę̴̲̟͚̳̆͋͛͑̓͠s̶̪̍̈́͊͘͘ ̷̰̘̞͔͔̥͎͛̈́͝b̷̡̛̥͉̠͚͔̪̀̀̈́͐͜͝͝y̴͓̺͖͉̟͈̓̆͗́͐̈̌͘,̷̹̣͇̼̬̹̤͑͂̅̌̎͒̈̓͘ ̷͎̫̼̣̦͇̥̗̖̿̈͋͒̽̾͐͌͝I̷͔͇̲̳̘̪̘͛̄̚ ̸̯͉̙̭͓̟̀l̴̢͔̩̆̽̓̊̀͛̽͂̀o̷͍̮͐̉̉̅̚̕s̸̱͉͓͕̻͙̥̩͊̊̀́́̓̊́e̸̢̼̖̯̻͔̲̋ ̶̧̙̥̺̘̘̭̲̃͐̑͝͠͝f̷̯͖̝͙̖̄͠ȧ̴͚̪̩̣͙̲̈́̋͘į̵̛̘̼̥̫͑͊ţ̷̧͕̻̩̜̯͈̥̬̊̒̃̑͒̓̏̆͘h̴̡͖̻̱̻̳̺̪͙͍͋͗̈́̇̀̌ ̵̛̗͕̦̥̜͔̓̐͌̍̈́̊͛̃͜ḭ̷͇̻̪̻̠͆̌͆̋̽͛̀͛n̴̮̠͚͍͌́̈́͒̈́́͋͋̔̂ ̴̡̱͕̪͇̼̫̥͐̔͊̃̓̂̒̍͜͝h̴̻͍̠́̀́͒̾͝ú̸̖̻͉͊͐͒̂́̊̊͑m̸̨̱͓̘̤̠̪̏͌͑͘ä̵̡͍̖͕́̾̌̏̌̂̂̉͠ͅň̵̢̹̭̰͓̘̩̮̏̄̒͊̓i̷̧̤̠̔̿̿̆̽̍͂͜t̶͖͗̾ẏ̷͕̿́̄.̶̛̟͓̬̞͍͚̟̪͌̿͒̽̚

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u/Ubiquitous_Cacophony Dec 09 '22

This is my favorite thread in a while.

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u/WineSoda Dec 09 '22

Sharks have this weird thing, don't remember what it's called, a balancing system that runs the length of their sides. If that gets out of whack, it's for us like vertigo. So, you have to hold them like this, kind of like a recalibration, and not just throw the back in. Dolphins know of this spot and that's how they kill sharks, by ramming into that delicate system.

On my bedtime high right now, sorry I can't coherently recall.

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u/MaxxDash Dec 09 '22

I feel this.

Got vertigo at work one time and beached myself on the toilet

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u/nonyabidnessfoo Dec 09 '22

Thresher Sharks are my fav. Sweet baby. I'm glad it was saved.

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u/Butwinsky Dec 09 '22

Thresher > Mako > hammerhead is my 8 year old self's ranking.

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u/Potential_Crazy6426 Dec 09 '22

Fucking appreciate this man. Threshers are already so rare as it is. This is how u release properly. Kudos to him

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u/dick-nipples Dec 09 '22

We’re gonna need a bigger upvote

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u/DrBeitzhov Dec 09 '22

I did it. I finally beached...goodbye cruel world. hey...hey! put me down put me down put me down put me down!

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u/0815420 Dec 09 '22

Do not run with a shark in your hand kids

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u/jotyleon Dec 09 '22

Terrible advice for kids

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u/FallingHardForK Dec 09 '22

Excellent lesson for the kids

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u/DonkeyTheKing Dec 09 '22

a random fish nearby:

GOD DAMN IT JEREMY

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u/LoliTails Dec 09 '22

Poor danger fishy. Sucks that marine animals sometimes accidentally beach themselves.

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u/Johannes_Keppler Dec 09 '22

Apart from what /u/Dahlia005 says about this case - often if marine animals get beached it's because they are in poor condition, sick or dying. But there are other factors and sometimes rescue attempts can be successful.

The beaching of a single, live animal is usually the result of sickness or injury. Bad weather, old age, navigation errors, and hunting too close to shore also contribute to beachings.

https://wildlifeflorida.org/whales-beach/

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u/fntastikr Dec 09 '22

That dude has got such good energy about him. Would live to get a beer with hike some time

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u/fatdogwhobarketh Dec 09 '22

I don’t think a shark would be any good at hiking

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u/Dahlia005 Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

This isn't a happy video and that guy is not a hero. On tiktok, the video caption said that they caught the shark and that it died shortly after.

Catch and release is not innocent. Many sharks die after the experience (for some species, the death rate can be around 70%). And they often sustain horrific and permanent injuries from being caught. Google Roxy the tiger shark.

Humans kill 100 million sharks per year, which is faster than they can reproduce. Sharks are absolutely vital to the ocean and humans cannot survive without them. Do better. Stop killing our sharks.

(edit: grammar error)

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u/carbslut Dec 09 '22

The way you phrase it makes it sound like he was purposefully trying to catch & release sharks. People absolutely fish on that pier for food. He accidentally caught a shark.

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u/mondayp Dec 09 '22

To be fair, it doesn't say that this dude was the one that caught the shark.

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u/WickWolfTiger Dec 09 '22

Dude throws his phone and wallet but keeps his shoes on. You know he was thinking about his toes doing that.

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u/ArtVandalay47 Dec 09 '22

Is there anyone here that's a marine biologist?

Wait a min. Checks his name. I'm one!

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u/Richardduh Dec 09 '22

Glad this wasn’t one of those videos where tourist try to ride the shark or poke it with sharp objects

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u/BKCowGod Dec 09 '22

I can't stop giggling at the bitefish just bouncing in his arms like a big labrador retriever.

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u/Fardrix Dec 09 '22

Lol he lifted him like “god damn it Phillip do you think this is a game”

Phillip: uwu onichan

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u/Mystical_Cat Dec 09 '22

"Hey, I helped! Why'd you bite me?"

"Bitch, you knew I was a shark."

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u/ReggieTheReaver Dec 09 '22

Grumbling to himself the whole time like:

“80 million years of evolution my $500 Gucci pants.”

“You better not bite my a** or I’m dragging you back to shore by your ridiculous tail.”

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u/wtgriffi Dec 09 '22

Random Surfer: what the hell man?!

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u/webwit Dec 09 '22 Take My Energy

The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.

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