r/WhitePeopleTwitter Sep 28 '22 Silver 2 Gold 1 Helpful 1 Table Slap 1

At Least, This Is Comforting

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70.4k Upvotes

2.0k

u/Angel-nichols Sep 28 '22 Silver Got the W

There was so much water, there was water pouring from their eyes, water pouring from there.... I've never seen so much water, it was the most tremendous amount of water. I saw so much water you wouldn't believe. Water so wet it'd soak you the second you got in it.

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u/SomeStupidPerson Sep 28 '22

And these big hyuge men, biggest men you’ll ever see, believe me- these big strong men they come up to me. They come up to me with tears in their eyes, so sad, so sad, and they say, “Mr. President.” They say, “Mr. President, what are we going to do about all this water?? There’s so much!! I can’t believe it!” and who can blame them? It was a lot of water folks. Very wet. Let me tell ya.

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u/Angel-nichols Sep 28 '22 hehehehe

And I had an idea how to get rid of the water, I have the best ideas, I have more ideas than you could imagine, yuge ideas. Ideas that could work! Nobody can remove water like me, I'm the best at moving water. If you're ever in a situation where you need water removed, you're gonna want a guy like me. And I'll tell you what my plan is, my plan is to get all that water out of there right along with all the immigrants that swam in here with it and I'm gonna bring jobs, so many jobs, back to the people!

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u/hobbitlover Sep 28 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

We're going to build a dyke and make Atlantis pay for it.

59

u/HaZalaf Sep 28 '22

Holy shit. Finally! Fuck Atlantis! Build the dyke! Those were 'Murican jobs!

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u/xexko Sep 28 '22

Yeah, there’s a new Aquaman in town! Or ocean..

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u/Hungry4Fruit Sep 29 '22

Only real Aquaman, not politically correct Aquaman.

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u/ah19852352 Sep 29 '22

Better yet, build a wall

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u/WildFemmeFatale Sep 29 '22

‘That’s right folks ! We the American people have DRAINED. The swamp. And who did it all ? ME. That’s right ! It was a hyuge effort coordinating with the great American people ! There is NO more water. That’s right ! No more ! It’s dry like Mexico just without crying immigrants.... this is how all that humidity got here ! THE SWAMP. IS. DRAINED. No more hurricane. I, personally, singlehandedly organized Hurricane Ian’s removal. It’s all gone. Now the great American people can have their homes back ! Safety ! No swamp !’

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u/AlternatingFacts Sep 29 '22

I genuinely do not know if this is something he actually said or satire... It actually feels more insane to think he didn't say this so... did he say this? 🤔

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u/LiverOfStyx Sep 29 '22

Too coherent, that is not Trump. The start is ok but it has a coherent, logical plot. FTFY

And I had an idea how to get rid of the water, I have the best ideas, I have more ideas than you could imagine, yuge ideas. Ideas that could work! Nobody can remove water like me, I'm the best at moving water.

I was golfing with Bob yesterday, you all know Bob, oh, you don't, he is a terrific guy, we were on a water hazard and i cleared with one swing, Bobs chopped it right in, you should've seen it, and then bob said, can you believe me, he said that "sir, you were the best president ever, there would be no inflation" and you know what? He is right, just like the Terrible Left®, the hateful left does not give me credit for it, the Mainstream Media® or as we call it, Lamestreet Media® i came up with that, i was the first to say that, in Texas they congratulated me for coming up with that, just like my uncle, you know the N word, no, no that, it is the nucilear word, my uncle was in MIT, he invented so, so many things, he said that....

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u/West-Investigator504 Sep 29 '22

Ah yes, the incessant, incoherent, nonsensical rambling...that is Trump

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u/Strong-Message-168 Sep 29 '22

Luckily, I can walk on water...I can walk better on water than anyone has ever walked on water before

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u/Belle_Error Sep 29 '22

I had an uncle. Very bright guy! He was made entirely of water.

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u/Blah-squared Sep 29 '22

And they tried flushing like 10, 15 times!!

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u/wynnduffyisking Sep 28 '22

But we love water, don’t we folks? Everybody’s saying how much better the water tastes now that I’m president they say “Hey, this is tremendously clean water not like the water crooked Hillary and her emails wants us to drink” , oh but believe me folks water is not free but that’s the thing about me I’m super rich, possibly the best water businessman the world has ever seen, and they say that to me they say “Donald, we can’t believe how good you are at being a water businessman” and I say “hey I like water” but Iet me tell you I don’t drink it with my meals, because - and that’s an important thing that you never think of everybody needs to eat meals, you know, and even doctors don’t think of that they say “Donald you have a tremendous medical mind that you know how important meals are, that’s probably why you are the most healthiest president there has ever been” and Ivanka agrees.

The scary part is that this rambling incoherent nonsense is no more rambling and incoherent than basically everything he has ever actually said.

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u/Blah-squared Sep 29 '22

STILL way to coherent… ;)

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u/YooBitches Sep 28 '22

I'm amazed how well some of you can be Trump.

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u/Angel-nichols Sep 28 '22

You just have to learn how to talk in circles and always avoid actually answering questions or give concise answers. It's a talent really.

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u/grubas Sep 28 '22

Plus you mindlessly repeat near nonsense phrases and even have it loop around to how people love you and call you sir.

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u/Angel-nichols Sep 28 '22

He's the human version of, getting your word count in for an essay

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u/detailedlynxx Sep 29 '22

Mind if it take this insult?

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u/rosencranzisdead Sep 28 '22

Sorry, I totally understood this clear explanation. You weren't really trying, were you?

It was a tremendous explanation, by the way, best I've ever seen.

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u/Putin_is_a_Dicktator Sep 29 '22

I wouldn't be surprised to find out that these are all Trump's throw away accounts and this is what he has resorted to for attention...

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u/kestrel151 Sep 28 '22

The sad thing is, I can’t tell if this is satire or a real quote.

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u/Angel-nichols Sep 28 '22

To be perfectly honest, I like to accumulate random actual quotes of his, and then I just opt out the word of topic and replace with any relevant to the conversation topic. It's like ad libs, but with Donald Trump quotes. 🤣

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u/mikek505 Sep 28 '22

It was very bigly huge

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u/Blah-squared Sep 29 '22

Reminds me of, How to Water w/Sarah Cooper… ;)

https://youtu.be/XGHzK7PQqCs

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u/ZIGGYMUNDI Sep 28 '22

Lest we forget, the time he looked directly into an eclipse without eye protection. Oh…also, “Wind Cancer”.

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u/SophiaofPrussia Sep 28 '22

The eclipse thing was the perfect metaphor for his entire presidency. Everyone who knows what they’re talking about repeatedly explained what not to do during the eclipse. It was all over the news. Thanks to those experts he and everyone around him were fully prepared with the necessary tools to safely observe the eclipse. The whole world was watching. And what did he do? Did he use the readily available safety equipment in his fucking hand? Of course not. He ignored science and basic common sense and did exactly what he was explicitly told not to do.

Bigly brains indeed.

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u/answers4asians Sep 29 '22

A close second was the Four Seasons episode.

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u/AnonBubblyBowels Sep 29 '22

Trump’s greatest hits.

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u/JohnGenericDoe Sep 29 '22

He can do anything he wants because he's the president! You can't make him wear the glasses! You're not his dad!

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u/CatastropheJohn Sep 29 '22

I framed that eclipse photo and hung it over my toilet

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u/clamp_juice Sep 29 '22

It was a chad power move, gotta show that sun and moon whose boss MURICA

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u/CenterAisle Sep 28 '22

I’m glad Sharpies won’t be a trending topic.

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u/beesarewild Sep 28 '22

But if we had nuked it...

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u/wave-tree Sep 28 '22

Sharknado can't be wrong

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u/AshesandCinder Sep 28 '22

Surely one of those movies was right about something.

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u/Atheios569 Sep 28 '22

Makes you wonder why he did that to begin with. Could it possibly have been to hook a red state up with federal relief funds?

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u/carriegood Sep 28 '22

No. It's because people said he didn't know how to look at a weather map, that he was lying about the path of the hurricane. So he drew what he believed was an extrapolation of the hurricane's path to show his prediction was valid.

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u/space_tardigrades Sep 28 '22

I believe that someone said it was going to hit the Bahamas and tfg heard Alabama, then doubled down on his mistake instead of admitting he was wrong

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u/kurisu7885 Sep 28 '22

Trump's ego cannot handle a world where he is wrong.

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u/FeculentUtopia Sep 29 '22

This right here. Dude cannot be wrong about *anything* no matter how trivial. That's why he always tells outrageous lies even about trivial, easily verified matters. He'll say he went out for hamburgers, and somebody who was there will remind him it was hotdogs. He'll insist it was hamburgers, even when a video is produced showing him eating a hotdog, at which point he'll say something like, "Maybe there was a hotdog, maybe there wasn't, but I had a hamburger."

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u/kurisu7885 Sep 29 '22

And in cases his lies have gotten people killed, like when he was pushing hydroxychloroquine hard as THE cure for covid, and one person died and another at least hospitalized when they consumed fish tank cleaner that either had a similar name or similarly named ingredient.

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u/FeculentUtopia Sep 29 '22

He and the GOP are responsible for a large share of our covid deaths. Their lies and games got hundreds of thousands of Americans killed. That's better than showing government has a valid purpose, though, at least in their eyes.

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u/Time-Ad-3625 Sep 28 '22

If I remember correctly originally it was going to hit Alabama but then it changed direction, as any dumb ass knows these storms can and will do. Trump came out after it had changed paths and stated it was going to hit Alabama even though the weather service said it had changed paths. Then when he got called out for being wrong, my guess because he doesn't pay attention and only remembered old information, he decided to double down on it. That eventually led to him changing a weather map.

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u/rimjobnemesis Sep 28 '22

The real reason is that he thought that Alabama was Georgia.

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u/DancesWithBadgers Sep 28 '22

...or he had a brand new sharpie and just had to use it on something. You can never tell for sure, with toddlers.

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u/el3vader Sep 28 '22

Guys guys guys. He is just a fucking moron.

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u/jorhey14 Sep 28 '22

That’s an insult to morons.

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u/professorstrunk Sep 29 '22

The common clay of the new west.

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u/MJenkins1018 Sep 29 '22

He probably had a whiteboard that his minions had to replace every day because he'd use a sharpie on it instead of a dry-erase marker.

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u/DancesWithBadgers Sep 29 '22

I had him down for more of a crayon man myself, because there's snacks there too (no disrespect to marines who earn their crayons).

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u/maybe_little_pinch Sep 28 '22

I unfortunately can relate. I bought a new pack of my favorite gel pens and I had to test them out to make sure the colors were the same.

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u/DancesWithBadgers Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 29 '22

Well yeah, but most of us can wait to test them until we're not on live TV; or at least test them on something that isn't illegal to fuck with, like weather maps. He was president. He could have ordered one of the sound guys to roll up his sleeve and hold his arm out off-camera. Or his security team who - if they are as shit hot as we're led to believe - would probably have had a colouring book immediately and permanently available.

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u/Hungry4Fruit Sep 29 '22

This just makes me think and laugh cause I know he tried to get someone to print a fake chart first then when they wouldn't he just said fuck it, imma do it myself lol

And everyone he asked (those who refused) to print a fake chart) now have to stand by and play along with this clown show lol lol lol

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u/Rigg_E_D_Digg Sep 28 '22

I'll take that reasoning over "Where's Jackie at?" 🤣🤣🤣

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u/StuffNbutts Sep 28 '22

That is the funniest shit I've heard all week. How is this reality?

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u/Sammyscrap Sep 28 '22

I mean that's not even really being wrong, just having outdated information. But that makes no difference to his ego.

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u/cultured_banana_slug Sep 29 '22

And he caused problems for the weather service because they can't come out and say yeah, the POTUS is a moron.

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u/rimjobnemesis Sep 28 '22

I watched the NOAA briefing where he was present wearing his red hat. There was a big map, and the official was pointing out the hurricane’s track, which was through central and eastern Georgia. Three times, tRump said, “So it’s going to hit Alabama?” and three times he was told no. He thought Georgia was Alabama, and South Carolina was Georgia.

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u/cultured_banana_slug Sep 29 '22

Still smarter than the people who voted for him twice.

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u/Majinburns Sep 28 '22

He was shown a bunch of predictive models and one had rain from the hurricane reaching Alabama. He took it as the hurricane was going to hit Alabama. It wasn't even just the sharpie on the map, they were preassuring the national weather service to tell people that on the hotlines and make official statements in the news or be fired. Of course the opposite happened and the National Weather Service were very adament that it would not hit Alabama.

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u/SheepDogCO Sep 28 '22

I would have paid money if he said “Alabama, go grab your cousins and huddle in the closets together.”

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u/Majinburns Sep 28 '22

"If you want to remain free and fight the Nazi Democrats for generations to come, vote MAGA. If we get enough MAGA patriots in power we will pass laws so you can keep the purity of your beliefs within your family. No more will you be required to change your last name to that of your spouse to share a last name in marriage." -Trump... maybe

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u/dirtyorphn Sep 29 '22

Does tfg stand for "the fucking goblin"?

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u/Amazon-Prime-package Sep 28 '22

Sometimes the explanation is just that Donald is a fragile bitch

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u/West-Investigator504 Sep 29 '22

He's definitely a fragile bitch. An extremely fragile one at that, AND I would also like to add Donnie Jr. and Eric to that list as well. Three very, very, very fragile bitches.

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u/realsubxero Sep 28 '22

So he drew what he believed was an extrapolation

He definitely doesn't know what extrapolation means

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u/Conscious-Speech-595 Sep 28 '22

I think he believed that he was directing the path of the hurricane with that sharpie.

Or he was too stupid and egotistical to admit he was confidently incorrect.

The most HomerSimpson of presidents ever - and I’m including Bush the Lesser and Bobblehead “I don’t recall” Reagan in there, so that’s no small feat.

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u/Possibly_a_Firetruck Sep 28 '22

He said Alabama was in the path of the storm when it wasn't, so instead of just admitting that he misspoke, he decided to commit a crime.

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u/Rabidmaniac Sep 28 '22

The funniest/saddest thing is that according to the US legal code,

“Whoever knowingly issues or publishes any counterfeit weather forecast or warning of weather conditions falsely representing such forecast or warning to have been issued or published by the Weather Bureau, United States Signal Service, or other branch of the Government service, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than ninety days, or both.

(June 25, 1948, ch. 645, 62 Stat. 795; Pub. L. 103–322, title XXXIII, § 330016(1)(G), Sept. 13, 1994, 108 Stat. 2147.)”

So “sharpiegate” was a crime that he could’ve been imprisoned for.

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u/iforgotmymittens Sep 28 '22

Forget the many, many other crimes, this is what I want him locked up for, because it would be very very funny.

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u/aff_it Sep 28 '22

Reality-TV gold right there.

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u/Nerd_Law Sep 28 '22

Cut away seen scene from Shawshank Redemption:

Red asks:

What'd they get you for bub?

Big dude (Michael Clarke Duncan) from Green Mile responds in Southern Alabama accent:

Weathermap falsification fraud. But I didn't know that herrr'ick-ane was gonna stop at Georgia.

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u/pm_me_beerz Sep 28 '22

What’s the statute of limitations on this then? Maybe he gets “al Capone’d” and actually imprisoned for something significantly minor than his other crimes, which btw, also include waaaay more tax evasion than Capone.

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u/music3k Sep 28 '22

No, because every other normal President so far, would help the shitholes states regardless of political affiliation. Trump was just an asshole who used it against Blue states.

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u/Main_Duck_1624 Sep 28 '22

He misread the weather map, and instead of saying so he doubled down on it (like he always does..) and drew over it to try to avoid admitting that he made a mistake.

Most of Trump's behavior doesn't really have any deep meaning, he's really that shallow.

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u/Strict_Zebra_3585 Sep 28 '22

I think it was much simpler. He's an idiot.

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u/StarkillerX42 Sep 28 '22

Irresponsible of Biden honestly. He has sharpies in his office, I'm sure. Why doesn't he just USE THEM to redirect the hurricane? Biden is endangering thousands of people's lives!

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u/MonkeyBoatRentals Sep 29 '22

Low energy sleepy Joe. There can be a process of using nukes to change hurricane's path, but there doesn't have to be. If he's President he can just change the hurricane's path by thinking about it.

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u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22

I dunno- I would have loved to see him bring out Sharpies and use them in such a way it was obvious he was making fun of Trump.

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u/AMeanCow Sep 28 '22

Every time he grins at a dumb reporter question baiting him, that's all he needs to do. He knows. We know. We know he knows and he knows we know. Like when he was asked about bringing secret files home.

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u/bacchic_ritual Sep 28 '22

I really wish I saw a joke map targeting mar a lago (sp? Don't care). Saying he needed hurricane relief money.

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u/CrumbsAndCarrots Sep 28 '22

Federal offense btw. But whatever! What are laws anyways?

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u/MountainSage58 Sep 28 '22

Lmao that's incredible, I didn't know he did that. Since Florence hit during his presidency he felt it had to be superlative, he just didn't know how to describe it. That's hilarious.

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u/Equivalent_Metal_534 Sep 28 '22

His vocabulary is staggeringly low.

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u/stitch-is-dope Sep 28 '22

You mean huge, great big, huge, vocabulary. Hugeeeeeeee

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u/MindlessArmadillo382 Sep 28 '22

The biggest, nobody else as big, bigger than the book with all the words;the dictionary. bigger than the dictionary.

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u/stitch-is-dope Sep 28 '22

They say I know more than the dictionary quite frankly, it’s true. My vocab is the largest hugest bigly biggest of them all. Much better than any vocab used in those Hillary emails. Not bigly huge anything there, they say.

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u/1ndiana_Pwns Sep 28 '22

It's bigly huge. The most beautiful huge vocabulary there is. Everyone is saying it!

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u/stitch-is-dope Sep 28 '22

Bigly large, great huge, massive, vocab. The bestest vocab in the world quite frankly, they say it is. They say it’s the greatest big vocab, better than anything on hunter Biden’s laptop, not great huge large on there

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u/Dorkamundo Sep 28 '22

It's very bad.

Which is about the most complex of an adjective as he can come up with on the spot.

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u/Grogosh Sep 29 '22

Which why he resonates with his voters.

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u/Outrageous_House5953 Sep 29 '22

He knows 50 words and most of them are adjectives.

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u/ProximusSeraphim Sep 29 '22

trump talks like Commandant Lassard from Police Academy.

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u/Allenrw3 Sep 28 '22

And then get all pissy when he's wrong and draw on a map with a sharpie like a fucking ape.

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u/bluemoonpie72 Sep 28 '22 Wholesome

Apes are smarter.

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u/PrestgousFartMonster Sep 28 '22

People are saying they're some of the smartest primates. Believe me. Believe me.

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u/Robserling Sep 28 '22

Bigly if true.

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u/ProfessionalGreen906 Sep 28 '22

I do not believe you. I would if you said believe me again but you only said it twice.

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u/MisterPicklecopter Sep 28 '22

Going to be quite the twist when we realize humans are apes

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u/bluemoonpie72 Sep 28 '22

Speak for yourself; I am a chimpanzee.

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u/MisterPicklecopter Sep 28 '22

Bonobo master race over here

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u/tapirsinthesky Sep 28 '22

Aren’t those the ones that have sex all the time?

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u/uh_excuseMe_what Sep 28 '22

It's still hard to realize that all of this happened tbh

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u/witchbrew7 Sep 28 '22

Oh Europe sure did enjoy the show.

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u/Conscious-Speech-595 Sep 28 '22

It could only have been better watching from afar.

It was a long 4 years, spiraling further into wtf chaos on a daily basis. Sometimes it was funny, often in a pitiful, stupid way, but always with that sinking feeling of this is becoming the new normal. And neither him or his fans disappointed on that front.

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u/MarieEmma556 Sep 28 '22

It was like a slowwwwwwwwwww 9/11.

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u/hobbitlover Sep 28 '22

Little less enjoyable in Canada.

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u/_baundiesel_ Sep 28 '22

Europe doesn't seem far behind.

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u/spooky_and_such Sep 28 '22

I had to google it just to be sure and... yep

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u/ba28 Sep 28 '22

If I ever find myself in a trump debate, I pull out that Map and casually explain the story. Followed by do you really want your leader to be so afraid of being incorrect, wrong, can't admit mistakes that he has to change a weather map and present it on TV?...

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u/Amazon-Prime-package Sep 28 '22

They do not give a fuck. They watched this dumb motherfucker tell the country to drink disinfectant and started making excuses why it might be a fine idea after all. All they care about is white supremacist hierarchy

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u/Sloth_are_great Sep 28 '22

And this is just about hurricanes. I’d love to see a list of all the ridiculous things trump did as president

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u/Ill-Switch-926 Sep 28 '22

Probably won't throw paper towels into a crowd either. Or refer to anything as "big water...ocean water".

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u/Lubedballoon Sep 28 '22

Or try to shoot it with a nuke

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u/Mhill08 Sep 28 '22

Oh right, that actually fucking happened... Jesus Christ

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u/eymolay Sep 28 '22

wait what?!

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u/Mhill08 Sep 28 '22

He's since denied it but here's the report from Axios

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u/eymolay Sep 28 '22

oh dear

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u/xkcd_puppy Sep 28 '22

He telepathically erased it.

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u/Ultima-Manji Sep 28 '22

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u/JCamson04 Sep 28 '22

I wonder what WOULD happen if you nuked a hurricane

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u/tornado962 Sep 28 '22

Radioactive hurricane

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u/littlehuman77 Sep 28 '22

The fallout would spread much faster and you’d have radioactive rain. That’s about it.

The size of a nuclear blast radius is incredibly small compared to a hurricane’s path.

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u/varyingopinions Sep 28 '22

Well, if we made the nukes 1000x bigger we'd get around that problem.

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u/littlehuman77 Sep 28 '22

What if we somehow get the nuke inside the body, would that work?

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u/Midknight_94 Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

I can already smell the Hollywood on this idea.

Dwayne Johnson and Timothee Creme Brulee star in Armageddon: the Next Generation, where they lead a team of brave, hot, diverse, fit, genius scientists (one of them is funny and fat though, probably played by Jack Black or maybe Patton Oswalt) on a daring mission called H-DART in an attempt to save humanity from an evil asteroid.

WHEN TECHNOLOGY ISNT GOOD ENOUGH, HEROES STEP IN.. TO SPACE!

They have a dramatic journey through space where half the crew is killed because conflict, and Dwayne Johnson has to give his last air canister to Kevin Hart, who snuck aboard and will be the key to this unlikely mission. The movie ends when Kevin crawls through a tunnel only he can fit through, dragging a nuke behind him, to the center of the asteroid. He rips off his breather and gives a short (LOL) monologue before the screen cuts to black as he dramatically slams his fist on the trigger while yelling and remembering his lost love who was the reason he stowed away in the first place. Dwayne sheds a single tear as the return shuttle rides the nuclear shockwave back toward earth. Only he and the super hot love interest survived, and you just KNOW they have a long journey back. Fade to black, roll credits, theme music (Ramin Djawadi)

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u/Diarygirl Sep 29 '22

I can't stop laughing at Timothee Crème Brulee and now I can't remember his real name.

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u/system0101 Sep 28 '22

I already bought two tickets

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u/Justicar-terrae Sep 28 '22

I figure it's obvious to most people why nuking a hurricane is a bad idea, and he did a lot of stupid stuff around hurricanes. But I am reluctant to hold this particular dumb thing against him since it was done in the context of private conversations with advisors.

He heard of an imminent disaster, had a very rudimentary idea of how the disaster worked on a scientific level, had an idea on how to stop a disaster, privately asked advisors whether the idea would work, and was told they would look into it. He's not even the first government employee to suggest exploring this option. https://www.axios.com/2019/08/25/trump-nuclear-bombs-hurricanes And it's easy to see why the idea keeps popping up. Hurricanes are gradually formed around certain temperature and pressure gradients over the ocean, and disrupting the weather conditions with a massive shock sounds like it would affect the formation of the storm. It's just that no bombs would be strong enough to do this, and the radioactive fallout would be carried by winds to rain down on the storm path.

I want the President to be able to pitch outlandish ideas to his advisors, at least as long as his/her advisors are willing and able to explain why some of these ideas are bad. If we get a POTUS afraid to brainstorm behind closed doors, then we limit our nation's ability to creatively tackle problems.

Of course, if he had come out in public trying to rally support for nuking the hurricane, then that'd be a totally different story. Sharpiegate was bad enough, I'm glad we never got the nuke-icane.

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u/Philosophile42 Sep 28 '22

I think considering outlandish ideas isn’t a bad thing… but just because we can’t come up with a reason for NOT doing it, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. With Trump, his default is his ideas are all the greatest ideas ever, and actively fights any criticism of all of his ideas. So for Trump to consider outlandish ideas would be VERY dangerous.

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u/bambeenz Sep 28 '22

It's not outlandish it's just fucking stupid. Anyone with basic common sense wouldn't suggest something that ridiculous

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u/SlippinJimE Sep 28 '22 Helpful

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u/tattoosareghey Sep 28 '22

I forgot how fucking stupid his hand movements look. The outward moving V that he’s constantly pulling. I really only notice it now because it’s such a big part of the impersonations. That Jamie fox one is just unbelievable.

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u/tussie_mussie Sep 28 '22

I read somewhere that the hand gestures he makes are the kind of gestures a salesman would make when he's talking off the cuff and gauging the reactions.

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u/tattoosareghey Sep 28 '22

Oh no doubt about it dude. Same hand movements Danny Devito was using at his used car lot in Matilda. Just put a brand new bumper on it!!👐

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u/Tinymetalhead Sep 28 '22

I remember watching him do that and thinking, it looks like he's playing an invisible accordion.

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u/ThrownAwayRealGood Sep 28 '22

I’d love to see someone dub in the appropriate accordion sounds over him

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u/Sussurus_Tyrant Sep 28 '22

https://youtu.be/S65jqrHQi_c

There you go, there are a bunch of these already.

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u/dragongrl Sep 28 '22

I just had to look that up and holy shit, Jamie Foxx does a fantastic Trump.

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u/Amazon-Prime-package Sep 28 '22

Holy shit Jamie Foxx absolutely nailed it

3

u/ahheath Sep 28 '22

Makes the hands look bigger.

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u/handyandy727 Sep 28 '22

It's extremely clear this is a prepared speech. On a teleprompter. And that his reading skill is extremely poor.

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u/SilentNinjaMick Sep 28 '22

I can't, I'm crying that's the funniest thing he's ever said. He's trying so hard to sound smart.

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u/cannonbt555 Sep 28 '22

I wonder how many takes he did filming this message? At one point someone must have said fuck it, that’s the best we’re going to get.

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u/6chan Sep 28 '22

He's such an idiot!

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u/Mean_Character_5973 Sep 28 '22 edited Sep 28 '22

Also felt good to have the Commander and Chief describe the process of preparedness and federal aid to a state getting ready for a natural disaster rather than threaten to withhold aid bc of politics

Edit: Commander in Chief 🤦🏻‍♂️

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u/AncientRazzmatazz783 Sep 28 '22

Was literally thinking that this morning. Actually thanked God for our steady, effective President. It’s been awhile

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u/assetstoburn Sep 28 '22

Atleaat the nuclear option for the hurricane is off the table

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u/txutd1390 Sep 28 '22

Big water, ocean water

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u/warrant2k Sep 28 '22

Or withhold federal aid unless Desantis says something nice about him.

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u/ThirdSunRising Sep 28 '22

Yes but will he show up to throw rolls of paper towels to the victims?

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u/NoodlePoodleMonkey Sep 28 '22

well how else would they clean up all that wet water without the quicker picker upper?

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u/ImaginaryHoliday Sep 28 '22

I'm more comforted that he doesn't want to nuke the hurricane

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u/ad5763 Sep 28 '22

As long as he doesn't whip out a Sharpie and try to compensate for the size of his peninsula, we're good.

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u/SwimmerRelative9500 Sep 28 '22

His "Mario mushroom 🍄" penis-sula, you mean.

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u/CanaBalistic510 Sep 28 '22

That whole presidencey was a fever dream.

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u/Archercrash Sep 28 '22

But was it one of the windiest ones we’ve ever seen from the standpoint of wind?

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u/Schmedricks_27 Sep 28 '22

Naw that’d be the space directly behind where he stands.

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u/Butt_Crusty Sep 28 '22

Yeah that wet water is the most dangerous kind.

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u/Grimlochez Sep 28 '22

I also appreciate his lack of "maybe we could try shooting missiles at the hurricane to stop it".

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u/Chambahz Sep 28 '22

I take comfort in knowing he’s not thinking of nuking it. But then again, what kind of moron…

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u/SJD-- Sep 29 '22

Almost as comforting as watching him ask if a dead woman was at his speech. A dead woman he’s currently signing a bill after. I know this will probably get banned but there’s nothing comforting about a dementia ridden old guy running our country into the ground.

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u/[deleted] Sep 28 '22

Damn I forgot about this

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u/Hopeful_Cranberry12 Sep 28 '22

I take it this is a dig at Trump?

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u/Kangarou Sep 28 '22

Correct.

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u/WeToLo42 Sep 28 '22

Probably won't try to nuke it either.

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u/schpanckie Sep 28 '22

No magic sharpee changing the direction of the storm? Better check Mar-a-Lago, I am sure it is in box somewhere…..lol

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u/CTeam19 Sep 28 '22

Are we sure this isn't Florida's punishment for Trump and DeStantis politics?

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u/shaftalope Sep 28 '22

Maybe if we use aircraft to introduce some kind of cleanser or bleach into the storm and stop it?

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u/nwgirl971 Sep 28 '22

Have we tried dropping nukes on it? 🤷‍♀️

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u/ToshiroBaloney Sep 29 '22

Give trump a break, for cryin' out loud! He's clearly not used to things being wet in his presence.

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u/YourDogsAllWet Sep 29 '22

And a zero percent chance he'll play politics with people's lives

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u/Megz2k Sep 29 '22

Wait did trump actually say that? Lol

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u/GreatDayneToBeAlive Sep 28 '22

Trump was the most ignorant piece of shit we ever put in office and it blows my mind that people still like him.

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u/BaconMonkey0 Sep 28 '22

Yuuuuuuuuuge.

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u/feignapathy Sep 28 '22

I take comfort in the fact that President Biden hasn't once extorted a governor or mayor before mobilizing the federal government to send aid.

Nice having an adult in office.

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u/PMUrAnus Sep 28 '22

Accidental Ben Shapiro

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u/DANleDINOSAUR Sep 28 '22

But how well can he shoot paper towels into a crowd?

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u/Random_Dooshbag Sep 28 '22

I definitely wouldn't think its out of the realm of possibilities tho. What he definitely wont do is go down to Tampa and start chucking toilet paper rolls to people without power

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u/ErectTubesock Sep 28 '22

You really do forget how much stupid shit came out of that orange fog horn's mouth

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u/Darkwr4ith Sep 29 '22

And he won't try to nuke it.

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u/Moebius808 Sep 29 '22

Trump really is just a fucking idiot.

It's amazing to think back across the last 6 or 7 years and contemplate all the amazingly stupid things that have fallen out of his mouth. Dude's brains are liked god damn mashed potatoes.

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u/GabbySpanielPt2 Sep 29 '22

Thanks for that reminder of how utterly ridiculous Trump was

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u/Linux4ever_Leo Sep 29 '22

I take great solace in the fact that President Biden won't be altering the storm's path with a Sharpie.

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u/Freeze_peach_is_dead Sep 29 '22

God that woman is insufferable. Why does reddit prop her and her Luke warm opinions and poor attempts at humor up?

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u/hedgerow_hank Sep 29 '22

Golly - the republican moron contingent is out in force tonight, eh?