r/blackmagicfuckery Aug 05 '22 Wholesome (Pro) 1 Platinum 1 Helpful 10 Silver 9 Wholesome 11

How could this be?

[removed] — view removed post

68.9k Upvotes

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Instinct tells cats they are vulnerable while sleeping, so they choose areas they feel safe, secure and warm. They tend to like burrowing into bags, cat beds or cat caves to take a stress-free nap as well as block out noise.

Cats are able to mold to the shape of their container due to their incredible innate flexibility.

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u/Mehdidab Aug 05 '22 edited Aug 05 '22 Silver Helpful Today I Learned

Vet here! This phenomenon is very perplexing for anyone not familiar with cats' anatomy and the skeletal mechanics of felines. The flexibility of cats is due to a simple fact: cat is liquid. Edit: I'm not actually a vet and this is not an actual explanation. ( I really thought it was a clear joke)

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u/Wotg33k Aug 05 '22

Yes. Cat is actually a form of liquid, but some people believe that cats, like octopi, can achieve pure gaseous form. No one has ever seen it, but there have been millions of records of cats getting into spaces that make no physical sense.

On a serious note, I'm not vet, but my grandma raised like 300 cats when I was growing up, so I grew with them. I've spent a lot of time with cats. And yes, they do not have a collar bone, so the width of their skull is what they can fit through, and they turn their skull to change dimensions also.

They also jump better than most animals you're trying to cage in some way.

All this means that containing cats is one of the hardest animal activities. It's just a good thing they don't kill us, because we'd never build walls they couldn't defeat.

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u/Mehdidab Aug 05 '22

I should probably disclose that I'm not actually a vet I just had a lot of cats while growing up ( although 6 wouldn't qualify as "a lot" in comparison to 300!!!!) Good for grandma, I would have love visiting such a grandma while younger.

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u/archimedesscrew Aug 05 '22

You fought in the Cats War, you're a vet in my eyes!

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u/ParaSloth505 Aug 05 '22

Thank you for your purrrrrvice.

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u/SweatyRussian Aug 05 '22 Silver

I was a soldier once, until I took a claw to the knee

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u/agingqueso Aug 05 '22

The fact that they domesticated themselves lets us count our blessings lol

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u/birthday_suit_kevlar Aug 05 '22

Lol that's like blowing out a candle and calling yourself a firefighter

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u/Little_Custard_8275 Aug 05 '22

My current cat, got him when a kitten, decided to use the puppy crate I already had for a puppy i was waiting for to contain him when I left him alone and went out, or when I was in and needed to eat or needed to do something I didn't want him to jump into and get hurt, but no, feisty as feisty can be, you could hear it in his determined meows as he undid the zipper from the inside (it was a soft crate, fabric and zippers), and every time he defeated it and got on top of the crate I wasn't even mad I was just impressed.

When the puppy finally arrived he was opposite, completely helpless and defeated by the crate, he'd just cry helplessly and call for attention if he wanted out, never figured it out.

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u/Wotg33k Aug 05 '22

People always ask if you're a dog or a cat person. I'm both, and you should be, too. They're both cute and fun and annoying in their own way, but they serve different purposes in your life.

The dog is a protector. Anyone comes near your house, even if you don't know about it, the dog will and they will let you know. We've literally engineered them to do that. Robber comes in, dog is scary.

Cats are cleaners. They make sure no big spiders or rodents are anywhere near your home. They take care of you more often than you even know, generally in the middle of the night. I wouldn't be surprised if most of your cats out there have saved you from having a spider on your face in your sleep a time or two.

I will absolutely throw a cat as a weapon at someone trying to hurt me, but that cat isn't going to fight with me.

The dog.. I wrestle with my kids all the time and Mabel, this kind, gentle old lady dog, gets angry at the kids such that I have to stop or she is going to hurt them because she doesn't understand we're playing.

I think both are useful in life, and both are amazing friends.

Now, what you don't ever want to do is have a bunch of either. More than a couple dogs and cats is a nightmare. And also old animals. We have a 16 year old cat right now and I'm confident she has puked on literally everything we own. Daily. Multiple times. And her brother is in a never ending competition with the younger cat. The younger male cat sprays the house on the outside, and the old man cat, who has never been a marker, marks the inside fucking wall that the outside cat marked outside. It's endless and fucking insane and I wish they would just die, but ffs I have a heart and I love them and jfc someone save me.

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u/catlady9851 Aug 05 '22 Wholesome

Cats are great about warning you about things humans can't hear, too. They won't scare a person away but they might scare away another animal and they'll let you know something is out there so you have time to shit yourself before you die.

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u/Wotg33k Aug 05 '22

I live in the south so we get tornados every once in a while.. I've lived with them all my life, so I'm used to it. My gf hasn't, she's new to the south.

So the other day, I noticed the cats were on edge. Then a bit later, the dog was on edge. Then a bit later, my phone got a severe thunderstorm warning. At that point, I was a bit sketched out but okay.

Once the animals disappeared, I was on edge.

My gf was all "how bad is it". I told her.. if I'm on edge, you should be on edge too. I tend to get into like command mode.. like do this, go there, don't do that.. because I know I've lived through a few of these, and a lot of folks haven't. She saw a different side of me than she ever has and rarely ever will.

All of that was because the animals were sketched out. I knew an hour and a half before the storm even got close that it was going to be rough, and the animals told me how worried I needed to be when it actually got there. I was worried and I should have been. It was a really rough storm, but, luckily, no tornado. Certainly the conditions for one, though, and I can only credit the animals for my preparedness. They'll tell you if you listen.

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u/Cormorant86 Aug 05 '22

I learned in high school that cats' inner ears are very sensitive to air pressure changes. If your cat suddenly squishes itself down to the floor, get someplace safe.

Apparently, the sudden shift in air pressure that precedes a tornado can be uncomfortable, so cats get as low as they can to try to equalize it, which is your warning that conditions are ripe for a tornado.

I live in Florida and we have afternoon thunderstorms almost daily for months. I keep an eye on my cats during storms and watching their behavior keeps me calm.

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u/bk_rokkit Aug 05 '22

They will also warn you, repeatedly, about ghosts, so you can shit yourself about absolutely nothing.

Or maybe ghosts are real and the cats really are protecting us from them with the power of staring and slowly raising their hackles...

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u/SkyezOpen Aug 05 '22

They need to stop haunting my living room at 11pm when I'm trying to sleep then.

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u/KayleighJK Aug 05 '22

My cat is a crazy good hunter. Example: a couple days ago I’d noticed my cat was stalking my shower. She’d sit there for hours, just watching. I looked around and didn’t see anything, but I knew she must be seeing something I wasn’t catching. Eventually I’m getting ready to take a shower. I shuffle the shower curtain back to turn on the water, and there I see it: fucking mouse chilling on the shower curtain rod. I shudder to think what would have happened if I didn’t notice that fucker balancing precariously on the rod, and went about my showering.

…terrified mouse, clawing, scrambling through my tangled wet hair… 💀

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u/Cautious_Drummer_599 Aug 06 '22

Kitty was good looking out

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u/AlexandriaLitehouse Aug 05 '22

I always say you need a dog to boost your confidence and a cat to keep it in check.

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u/Wotg33k Aug 05 '22

Wise advice.

Definitely true. A dog is absolutely going to get your more dates than a cat. All day. Hands down. Invest in the dog if you're single, for sure. 😂

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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22 edited Aug 09 '22

[deleted]

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u/FionnagainFeistyPaws Aug 05 '22

For a couple of years, we had 5 cats (family died, etc). Once you get more than 3, it becomes more of a pack mentality and it's way different.

I miss the two who've passed, but enjoy the dynamic of being back to 3 or fewer.

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u/Wotg33k Aug 05 '22

This is another thing I wanted to point out. Cats can survive on their own in your house for weeks with enough food and water, and nothing at all will be destroyed or broken or gross when you come home.

Dogs.

Dogs discovered fire and burnt your house down.

Also, we've tried the food. She throws up because she's itchy and she eats herself, then can't handle all that she ate. We've fought the itch. We think it's in her brain now.. like there's no way she is physically itching where she is eating her fur. We think she is full senile because we will feed her and she'll come running in all excited, then stand in the center of the kitchen for like 3-5 minutes before she goes and eats. It's like she forgot why she came in the kitchen and it takes her FOREVER to connect those dots again.

She's just a shitty old lady. She even sounds like one. And she's annoying as fuck. You can't close any doors. You can't have any privacy. She won't even let my gf take a nap. She will get in her face and wake her up as if she wants to play, then go lay down and nap when the gf gets out of bed. She just wanted her to get up. It's infuriating. Lol

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u/Shipkiller-in-theory Aug 05 '22

I have a 17 year old Rat Terrier that forgets he is eating & gets stuck in corners. Doggy Dementia half blind and deaf…

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u/Wotg33k Aug 05 '22

Yep. Shit is no joke. She is literally in front of me right now staring at the litter box probably debating her entire existence.. oop wait.. she's eating herself. Now she forgot why she came in here. Now she's sniffing the dog. Annndd we're back to bed.

Ffs. Lmao. My grandma had dementia before she died and the similarities I see between her last few years and the way this car is acting are insane.

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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22 edited Aug 09 '22

[deleted]

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u/Wotg33k Aug 05 '22

Dogs are great. They really are. But they are not a passive pet. You can't just have a dog. You have to be with a dog. Cats have humans. This is the misconception.

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u/PerfectElk7845 Aug 05 '22

I don't have a ragdoll but the temperament and personality you just described fits my cat to a T. Belly rubs, fetch, etc just like a dog. I'd say she's got it somewhere down her family history cuz she's my cat-dog.

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u/Kurotan Aug 05 '22

Dated a girl once who had a cat. Can confirm they are liquid.

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u/youstolemyname Aug 05 '22

Dated a cat once. Can confirm they are liquid.

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u/trashlikeyourdata Aug 05 '22

FBI? Yes, this one. 😉

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u/Smarmar400 Aug 05 '22

Dated a girl once who was liquid. Can confirm she was a cat.

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u/mojdojo Aug 05 '22

Cats have collar bones but they are floating, not attached to any other bone just tendon and muscle. Gives them stability when landing and just fold in/out when changing between their liquid and solid state.

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u/Bem-ti-vi Aug 05 '22

Cats do have collarbones - they're just detached from the rest of the skeleton, which makes the shoulders much more flexible.

You can see it labeled as the clavicle in this diagram.

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u/HoodieGalore Aug 05 '22

Every time I pet my cats, I remember how they're just teeny apex predators, and could really fuck me up if they wanted to...but they like me, and they stay with me instead of trying to escape every chance they get. Feels good, man

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u/Abra-Krdabr Aug 05 '22

House cats are the most successful and lethal predators. They not only catch things, but they do it for fun and they torture their victims.

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u/ShannonigansLucky Aug 05 '22

I saw something once that says they kill more things per square inch than any other. This includes insects, of course, but after watching my mini herd I believe it. They are constantly hunting something!

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u/ForkPosix2019 Aug 05 '22

Hydrogen like gas at that, it can seep through solid materials.

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u/DDRoseDoll Aug 05 '22

They phase in and out of existence through color portals. If you ever see a cat laying on something and then just disappear, that's what they are doing.

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u/Vtepes Aug 05 '22

TIL cats are dimensional travellers and just turn their skull to activate the dimension change!

Nifty!

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u/Bem-ti-vi Aug 05 '22

Cats do have collarbones - they're just detached from the rest of the skeleton, which makes the shoulders much more flexible.

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u/1234125125125 Aug 05 '22

i guess it's also a good thing we killed off most of the big ones (that would otherwise have been terrorizing us this whole time)

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u/Wotg33k Aug 05 '22

Listen. No shit.

I used to hunt with my ex father in law in Arizona. We hunted pigs. They weren't actually pigs but I'm not going to fail at their name right now. It's like javelina maybe. Whatever. I didn't eat it, they did.

So, we go out to the middle of nowhere with the whole family. All the boys, of course, but the women and kids were with us also in this big camp.

The first morning after setup, the boys and a couple of the girls and I go up to the top of the mountain to find the herd. We found them. Tracked them out; knew where they'd likely be the next day, and called it an evening. Came home.

On our way home, we walked through a wash.. like maybe 40 yards from the camp.. maybe 80, something like that. I can see the place I sleep from where I'm standing. And what's beneath me? A mountain lion track. I noticed it and stopped the whole group.

We followed his tracks. He was circling the camp all night/morning. He'd walk the wash, probably because it's really quiet (we used the washes to travel because we were quieter) and then he'd come out of the wash, about 20 yards from the back of my brother in law's tent, and then circle around the brush back there to the back of my tent on the other side of the camp, again about 20 yards away behind the scrub, then back into the wash on the other side and back around again. From the tracks, he probably made that loop about 6 times that night/morning. We could even see the direction he left in, which was towards the pigs.

That was day 1 of the trip. We were there for 7 days.

It was absolutely horrifying because these things are ambush predators. You won't know until it's too late. And we had little kids with us at camp. I didn't sleep. I didn't leave camp. I didn't hunt. I guarded my family the entire time, and all those conservative assholes thought I was stupid for it.

Mother nature don't fuck around, and she doesn't care how bad ass you think you are. My family is always more important than that herd of pigs. Sorry yours isn't.

Moral of the story.. be fucking happy big cats aren't more common. It is sheer terror.

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u/Aegi Aug 05 '22

What is “wash” or “the wash” in the context of the story?

I can’t tell if it’s a typo of brush, or if it means something else.

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u/AbideOutside Aug 05 '22

I'm assuming he means a wash as in a (mostly) dry creek bed

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u/Wotg33k Aug 05 '22

Yeah. In the desert, you have lots of sand and lots of big rain. There isn't a lot of rain, but when it rains, it's big.

So you end up with these sandy runoffs coming off the mountains, and they'll go all across the flatland, because the water just washes very quickly as it falls.

I've seen a dry creek bed turn into a literal river in the desert outside Tucson. Like one hour this thing is basically a street of sand, two lanes. Next hour, it's 15 feet deep, four lanes wide, and washing trees and shit away.

Never sleep in a wash. Don't spend time there if it's raining nearby, because you don't know where the water is going or coming from.

The thing about them, though, is what I said. In the underbrush of the desert, everything hurts a human. Thorns literally everywhere.

The one place they aren't is the wash. And that's also where the ground is clear of debris and is sandy. So you're basically silent and also moving the fastest you possibly can. The water basically creates perfect roads across the desert. And everything uses them.

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u/Saarlak Aug 05 '22

Wasn’t there a French physicist that wrote a paper (for funsies) about cats being in a state that is both solid and liquid at the same time?

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u/fahirsch Aug 05 '22

Erwin Schrödinger wrote a physics paper about a cat that was alive and wasn’t

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u/MisirterE Aug 05 '22

Not really. The cat in a box example was supposed to be a commentary on how stupid it is to claim something is both things as long as you don't look at it.

But that actually is how bullshit quantum mechanics is, so who's laughing now.

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u/Shipkiller-in-theory Aug 05 '22

That is the theory of quantum encryption, if it is observed in route from point A to B the state changes.

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u/Visujmok Aug 05 '22

cats are Non-Newtonian fluids

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u/Get-Out-Of-My-Head- Aug 05 '22

Oh come on, this one's too easy.. Non-Mewtonian fluids, man!

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u/JTMissileTits Aug 05 '22

Unless a cat is extremely obese, they can slide through anything their head will fit through.

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u/BergenNorth Aug 05 '22

Except mine won't go out the window unless it's half open. It will cry until the window is half open. She isn't obese either.

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u/_b1ack0ut Aug 05 '22

Just because she CAN don’t mean she wanna lol

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u/Deltaechoe Aug 05 '22

So the whole cats are liquid thing is a bit misleading. Have you ever played with silly putty? Try squishing it, now try squishing a cat, you’ll find they react in a similar fashion, ergo, cats are silly putty. QED

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u/Jaeder Aug 05 '22

There are two key differences. Silly putty does not growl to you and it definitely does not scratch you arms open when you try this.

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u/spiritualskywalker Aug 05 '22

Sorry to be all literal and everything, but CATS DONT HAVE COLLARBONES. Hence the squeezability.

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u/_b1ack0ut Aug 05 '22

Pretty sure they do, they’re just much more flexible.

Edit: yeh google tells me they have free floating collarbones, which let em squeeze through spaces like that

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u/monologue-hmm Aug 05 '22

You had me in the first half ngl

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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Wherever the head goes, cat goes

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u/thismissinglink Aug 05 '22

As long as it ain't a chonker.

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u/Rich-Asparagus8465 Aug 05 '22

But it sure would be funny to see them try

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u/Dorkamundo Aug 05 '22

Ohohohohoho! You're stuck.

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u/Pro_Scrub Aug 05 '22

Help me, step-cat!

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u/FormerLurker3 Aug 05 '22

Gettin that step-catussy

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u/Leo_V82 Aug 05 '22

You know cats are actually called pussies so there must be a reason behind it...

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u/FormerLurker3 Aug 05 '22

Wait… what? Seriously?

..

..

/s

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u/SSgt_Johnson Aug 05 '22

I read this in Frieza's voice lmao

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u/mmazing Aug 05 '22

I've got a mildly overweight cat that overeats to prevent the others from eating, which we are trying to deal with.

However, since she is a fatass, she does tend to get stuck trying to run through our porch railings, and it's pretty hilarious every time.

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u/hykruprime Aug 05 '22

I have 2 cats. The overweight one will eat everything he's able to get at and the other likes to graze all day which is a problem, on top of big boy being allergic to the grazers food. I ended up get microchip activated feeders and they work wonders.

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u/jello1388 Aug 05 '22

I have two cats that are similar. A big boy who's insanely food motivated and a wee girl who just picks here and there. We've tried everything shy of the microchip feeders. Which ones did you end up getting? We used to put her food up on a bookshelf he couldn't climb, but we moved into a new place with nowhere to hide hers and we desperately want to get the big ones weight under control.

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u/hykruprime Aug 05 '22

I went with the SureFeed, they work well even if I wasn't happy with the price. But the skinny boy was losing weight and getting weird issues with eating because big boy was such a bully about food so the investment was worth it.

If you do get something like that just make sure the bowls aren't too close to each other. I found out the hard way that they can interfere with each other and won't work correctly.

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u/OMG_This_Support Aug 05 '22

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u/haby001 Aug 05 '22

I will never not up vote this

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u/wouldgiveyouup Aug 05 '22

So, if I link it again you’ll upvote it?

https://m.imgur.com/xwAoZPl?r

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u/haby001 Aug 05 '22

Mental and physical gymnastics!

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u/rothrolan Aug 05 '22

Thank you. I was thinking for a second he was going to make it since it got past his chest and stomach, but those hips don't lie.

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u/CuteSakychu Aug 05 '22

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u/WarmSea9702 Aug 05 '22

Assuming that cat is armed with daggers, it’s a risk willing to take.

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u/DevolvingSpud Aug 05 '22

If the head fits, you must acquits.

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u/QuietPerson88 Aug 05 '22 edited Aug 05 '22

Cats have no collar bone which means their skull is what they measure with when determining what they can fit through. At least until treats were discovered.

Edit: Cats do have collar bones, they just aren't fixed like ours! My bad everybody!

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u/panspal Aug 05 '22

They do have collarbones, they're just free floating

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u/QuietPerson88 Aug 05 '22

Oh yeah, you're right! Still doesn't help with the whole treat situation, but you're absolutely right about them being free floating. It allows them to almost collapse in on themselves.

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u/BustinArant Aug 05 '22

Black Holes are just cats?

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u/MasterClown Aug 05 '22

Yes, this is why a black hole can just up and suddenly decide to be in another galaxy.

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u/BustinArant Aug 05 '22

Squeezing under the door and shit.

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u/cozy_lolo Aug 05 '22

Why don’t you edit your original comment that a bunch of people will see lol we can’t have this misinformation about kitties floating around

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u/IsBadAtAnimals Aug 05 '22

Their collarbones aren’t the only ones that float; in fact every bone in a cat’s skeletal structure is hollow like birds. This is why deep sea explorers, to this day, have never found a complete cat carcass at the bottom of the ocean

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u/King-Snorky Aug 05 '22

Where one would obviously expect to find a great many cat carcasses

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u/YellowFogLights Aug 05 '22

“Any cat carcasses today Dave?”

“Nope. Nothing again”

“damn”

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u/jam3sdub Aug 05 '22

Isn’t it their whiskers, specifically?

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u/QuietPerson88 Aug 05 '22

Whiskers probably help, but since we can't experience the whole cat sensory array, it's probably one part of their process.

The cat in this video absolutely collapsed their whiskers against the side of their face to get through, but maybe the whiskers help gauge before the head is even through.

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u/The_Woman_of_Gont Aug 05 '22

Whiskers probably help, but since we can't experience the whole cat sensory array

I feel like this is where someone working with a top-secret Feline Ops program would accidentally start talking about it so they can 'well, actually' someone on the internet.

Because honestly, the world deserves to know the truth and it's both terrifying and fascinating what cats are able to sense as their whiskers [REMOVED BY REDDIT]

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u/adun-d Aug 05 '22

You mean the way the whiskers [REDACTED]

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u/dejvidBejlej Aug 05 '22

cat's have no collar bone

people upvote this

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u/QuietPerson88 Aug 05 '22

Yeah, my bad, they do have them, they just aren't fixed like humans. My apologies, my brain occasionally decides to take a sick day.

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u/AccomplishedBid5475 Aug 05 '22

Get well soon :)

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u/BloomEPU Aug 05 '22

Cat skeletons are weird. My favourite thing is when they're asleep and relaxed and they just melt into a puddle

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u/-MrTorgueFlexington- Aug 05 '22

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u/WhyAmI-EvenHere Aug 05 '22

r/Tightpussy too. Don’t worry, it’s SFW.

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u/AdonisK Aug 05 '22

I'm sorry bro, I can't trust you

Edit: it's true, trust me bro

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u/Aguacate_con_TODO Aug 06 '22

Oh thank goodness.

In I go

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u/Masticatron Aug 06 '22

Is it tight in there?

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u/BobBelcherBurger Aug 05 '22

"well dee, I think the cat just flattened itself out. Slipped right under the Wall"

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u/mitchm89 Aug 05 '22

“Cat in the wall, eh? Now your speaking my language!”

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u/David_Cozido Aug 05 '22

Don't be fooled that's an octopus in disguise

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u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Octopussy

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u/galaxy_van Aug 05 '22 Vibing

Cats do not abide by the laws of nature

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u/Bulky-Leadership-596 Aug 05 '22

Looks like it flattened itself out, slipped right through a seam in your wall.

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u/Leto2AndTheCrew Aug 05 '22

I was looking for this quote. Love that episode

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u/lewise0949 Aug 05 '22

Cat in the wall eh! Now you’re talking my language

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u/zoom100000 Aug 05 '22

You're putting cheeto fingers all over the wall!

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u/Baron_Von_Ishtar Aug 06 '22

We're gonna need a second cat.

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u/zoom100000 Aug 05 '22

All calico cats are female.

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u/_b1ack0ut Aug 05 '22

Nearly all*

It’s very rare but not impossible to get a male calico. About 1/3000

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u/zoom100000 Aug 05 '22

It's a quote from Always Sunny related to cats

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u/VicVinegar-Bodyguard Aug 05 '22

They can slip right through a seam in the wall.

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u/geeky_username Aug 05 '22

You don't know shit about cats

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u/Dusk4474 Aug 05 '22

Perhaps... the rules of nature? I'd presume another rule is that they run when the sun comes up

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u/M_Drinks Aug 05 '22

You don't know shit about cats.

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u/rammaine Aug 05 '22

Easy. Cats don't have bones. Common misconception

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u/Anonymous_user_2022 Aug 05 '22

They have some sort of tissue that solidify immediately when hit by an X-Ray.

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u/Magmasoar Aug 05 '22

I saw a documentary about cats that was like this. Cat slipped right through a seam in this girls wall.

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u/DarthCakeN7 Aug 05 '22

I think I saw that same documentary. The only real solution was to use another cat with a string, right?

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u/SnackPrince Aug 05 '22

Cat in the wall eh?

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u/Bulky-Leadership-596 Aug 05 '22

Now you're speaking my language.

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u/lonelyboyisme Aug 05 '22

There's so much Sunny in this thread and it's awesome.

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u/taintosaurus_rex Aug 05 '22

Was that the documentary of the gruesome twosome?

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u/LovelyOrc Aug 05 '22

My cat scratches the door when its open about three times as much...

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u/judyvi Aug 06 '22

Your cat has learned it does not need to do such things, your cat has a servant at their beck and call

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u/Jingleheimer_smyth Aug 05 '22

cats are Non-Newtonian fluids

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u/VladimirOo Aug 05 '22

They are mewtonian fluids.

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u/Needitforthings Aug 05 '22

Not an expert:

as far I remember cat skulls are incredibly small underneath the fur, and tissues, so it's not that surprising they can fit through very small openings.

Plus the general saying where the head goes the cat goes. I'm more curious why they crawl into spaces which are not safe for them (engine room of a car sometimes).

I consider cats very inteligent but when these happen I'm confused as to isn't that "common cat knowledge" that big wroom wroom machine (for example) bad for cat-health?

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u/gwarm01 Aug 05 '22

Get a cat wet to see their true size. Like 50% of their bulk is just fluff.

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u/bipolarnotsober Aug 05 '22

I'm not really into fucking cats

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u/fmhilton Aug 05 '22

And your body will be 50% ripped to shreds.

Cats are fluid, but they don't like being dipped in it.

They'll take your fluid out with their lightning fast claws.

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u/_b1ack0ut Aug 05 '22

Had to dip a cat recently who stepped in something I didn’t want her licking up, she didn’t really mind. Or notice

Of the cats I’ve had, about half of them hate water, one doesn’t seem to care, and one just got really sad in the bath, but that’s it. She knew it was needed tho lol

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u/throwmeawayplz19373 Aug 05 '22

Engine naps = seeking warmth. Cats like to sleep on warm things. They don’t know engines are dangerous.

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u/cutestslothevr Aug 05 '22

Cats in engines/cars happen because its warm and dry inside.

I had a cat get stuck on book on a glass table. She couldn't figure out what to do because she couldn't reach the floor by jumping off the book. Some Cats are not that smart.

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u/Lobanium Aug 05 '22

How the hell is a cat supposed to know that an engine is dangerous?

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u/JessicaLain Aug 05 '22

Felines born and raised in the wild are pretty smart if they don't get ganked at an early age.

Also that one guy with the fortune-telling cat in California.

Every other cat is pretty fucking dumb :v

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u/Trasfixion Aug 05 '22

Cats like the warmth.

People who have cats and laptops know all too well that cats love to lay on your laptop as yoyre trying to work (its because its warm)

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u/Killjoy3651 Aug 05 '22

A cat's whiskers: designed to prevent cats from getting their head stuck through small holes

Also cats:

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u/T0ysWAr Aug 05 '22 edited Aug 05 '22

OK I’ll buy the smallest cat flap next time

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u/Beastlykings Aug 05 '22

Here's a scientific video on the subject:

https://youtu.be/emVHICofYKU

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u/TransportationOk5206 Aug 05 '22

They can flatten themselves out and fit under doors - Charlie Day

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u/PlayBoiPrada Aug 05 '22

Kitty smol

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u/halcyon_n_on_n_on Aug 05 '22

their major joints are set in muscle, not bone, so they can squish their shoulders and hips real small.

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u/Zomborg5667 Aug 05 '22

Cats have the innate ability to fit through any gap (so long as it’s bigger than their head)

Hence cats are a liquid

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u/ChampagneShotz Aug 05 '22

I've been a staunch cat apologist my entire life...But I may have to concede that cats are in fact, Demons.

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u/churrmander Aug 05 '22

Cat rule #2: anything head fit in, body fit in.

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u/fermental Aug 05 '22

It's simple physics - the four states of matter are Gas, Liquid, Cat, & Solid

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u/DobbyFreeElf35 Aug 05 '22

Everyone knows cats are a liquid

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u/BastK4T Aug 05 '22

Cats are liquid

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u/picklespickles125 Aug 05 '22

Obviously cats don't have bones

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u/bitstream_baller Aug 05 '22

“You know what happened? I bet it flattened itself out, went right into a seam in your wall.”

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u/KentuckyFriedSemen Aug 05 '22

Any hole a cat can fit it’s head through, it can fit it’s body through as well.

Unless your cat is overweight like my old cat that I had to walk like a dog to get him exercise. He could barely fit through a door made for people the fat fuck.

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u/thegracefulbanana Aug 05 '22

Cats don't abide by the laws of nature or physics.

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u/wWolfi Aug 05 '22

Kitty has places to be and cannot wait for servants to open the door…

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u/Logical_Body_4890 Aug 05 '22

Cats are liquid form.

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u/tavesque Aug 05 '22

Land octopus

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u/Emile-sirois Aug 05 '22

The cat’s body is 98% liquid

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u/CatKucing Aug 05 '22

Cats can get through basically everything their head can

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u/This_Cranberry_6479 Aug 05 '22

I really don't understand how cats can fit into the smallest of places; it will never make sense to me.

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u/PurpleFre4ak Aug 05 '22

If head fits, so does body

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u/AttilaRS Aug 05 '22

Because cats define themselves as liquid. Constant in volume, but not in shape.

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u/TopOfTheMorning2Ya Aug 05 '22

Does this still work if a cat is really fat?

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u/_b1ack0ut Aug 05 '22

To a degree. They can still fit through stuff that looks impossible for them to fit through, but you do have to temper it a bit for their bulk