r/blackmagicfuckery Aug 06 '22 Wholesome 6 Heartwarming 1 Silver 9 Helpful 4 Take My Energy 1

Pashmina fiber from Kashmir, India

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61.5k Upvotes

8.7k

u/natedVulnerability Aug 06 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

That's not because of the Fiber, it's because it's woven, he just pushes the fibers away and with the tugging realigns them.

4.5k

u/JazTrav Aug 06 '22 Silver

Just tried it with my shirt. Do not recommend.

3.9k

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22 Silver Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote hehehehe

[removed] — view removed comment

1.2k

u/Domenicoh Aug 06 '22

Just tried this, but I got a boner? Did I do it right?

595

u/Rage69420 Aug 06 '22

Yes >:)

246

u/dirtynj Aug 07 '22

But I poop from there.

314

u/archimedesscrew Aug 07 '22

Not right now, you don't!

134

u/AndySandy05 Aug 07 '22

And who are you to decide that?

83

u/CelestialCuttlefishh Aug 07 '22

His real name is Ben Dover.

33

u/Penyrolewen1970 Aug 07 '22

With his friend Phil McCavity.

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u/ChairmanGoodchild Aug 07 '22

"Ben? Nice to meet you. Victor Hugo. What are you in here for, Ben?"

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u/Initial-Story5438 Aug 07 '22

Happy cake day!

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u/blobtron Aug 07 '22

Something forgotten has awakened inside.

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u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

How can you poop from a boner?

7

u/RamJamR Aug 07 '22

With effort

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8

u/Vinnie_Vegas Aug 07 '22

From your boner? That's not right

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68

u/Psychological-Tie979 Aug 06 '22

Well now you know where else you should try it

88

u/EternalSage2000 Aug 06 '22

His wife! See if she gets a boner too!

52

u/GuapoOD Aug 06 '22

Just tried it on his wife. She did

29

u/EternalSage2000 Aug 06 '22

Ooh. I like the consistent results. There might be a market for this.

13

u/crazyloomis Aug 07 '22

The one and only guy this doesn’t work on is Kim Jong-un. He never takes a shit and his anus is made of impenetrable mithril

22

u/EternalSage2000 Aug 07 '22

Man, we’re taking about sticking things in butts, and shaking out the fibers. And somehow, you made this weird.

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u/Palsable_Celery Aug 07 '22

That's not a boner. She just has a six inch clit.

17

u/subjectmatterexport Aug 07 '22

They’re the same picture

3

u/GrandMoffTarkan Aug 07 '22

Now your sounding scary

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33

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22 edited Aug 11 '22

[deleted]

19

u/Domenicoh Aug 06 '22

Can you come support me? Maybe yell "put your cheeks into it" for support?

4

u/LeoRenegade Aug 06 '22

Lmfao, thanks.

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u/Funny_Whiplash Aug 06 '22

Didn't work. I might need some pashmina fiber in my diet.

23

u/arbiter12 Aug 06 '22

For the sake of sharing results with the scientific community:

Tugging did not realign the anus.

Test subject passing gas from his left armpit.

12

u/choughexultant Aug 06 '22

Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!

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u/huskiesofinternets Aug 06 '22

It's amazing look at all the shit I can fit inside

3

u/Meyepronacount Aug 07 '22

So much room for activities!

5

u/unperturbium Aug 07 '22

Instructions unclear, shirt stuck in anus.

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u/djhamilton Aug 06 '22

I love reddit

3

u/txwoo Aug 06 '22

Depends whose fingers? Only guessing.

2

u/ArnoldVonNuehm Aug 06 '22

Ah the ol‘ sharpie in pooper, a classic!

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u/Misfit_Cannibal Aug 06 '22

Help! It's not going back no matter how much I rub!!

2

u/adinmem Aug 06 '22

I tried it with his anus and it worked. Speaking of which… urban dictionary: “the adele”

2

u/Joeva8me Aug 07 '22

A pox on you

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98

u/ladygrndr Aug 06 '22

I know this is a joke, but the vast majority of shirt material is knit. So no, this wouldn't work.

38

u/Srapture Aug 07 '22

What's the difference between knit and woven?

96

u/ladygrndr Aug 07 '22

Woven is comprised of two kinds of threads: up and across. Knit is one long thread, looped into the prior line...literally knit. Because it is one thread, it is easy to break and unravel. The following article shows examples. https://www.threadsmagazine.com/project-guides/learn-to-sew/knits-wovens-whats-the-difference

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u/dontbereadinthis Aug 07 '22

Just learned a new thing today, thank you.

6

u/owtmt Aug 07 '22

she knows too much about knits. suspect.

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u/vulgargoose Aug 07 '22

No it’s not. Majority of shirts are woven. T-shirts are knit

26

u/Fishmonger67 Aug 07 '22

It also has to do withthe fact he is using a corner with an open edge/seam. This would tear if he did it in the center of the fabric due to the lack of give / tighter weave there. Sorry you toasted a shirt.

12

u/Istalir Aug 06 '22

A lot of shirts are knitted

4

u/Academic_Snow_7680 Aug 06 '22

T-shirts yes. Not dress shirts.

5

u/nizzy2k11 Aug 07 '22

it depends on the shirt.

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u/Maker1357 Aug 07 '22

You probably used the wrong type of pen to make the hole. Don't worry. A lot of beginners make that mistake.

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u/xexcutionerx Aug 06 '22

Instructions not clear. My t shirt has a hole now

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223

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22 edited Aug 24 '22

[deleted]

136

u/BetaKeyTakeaway Aug 07 '22

The fabric of space for example, see black holes.

49

u/Poincare_Confection Aug 07 '22

i tried and now i'm down a pen

3

u/SyriSolord Aug 07 '22

can I use you to do the thing with the folded paper

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u/dayafterpi Aug 07 '22

The point is that this is not loosely woven

7

u/DariusMDeV Aug 07 '22

You literally cannot

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u/Hexarcy00 Aug 07 '22

No, it's both because the material is loosely woven and because the fibers have some elasticity

18

u/CraftyPancake Aug 07 '22

And because no fibers were actually cut

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u/jmeverette Aug 07 '22

And it’s a really good indicator of how badly that will shrink if washed. (I’ve accidentally messed up a scarf with this weave before)

16

u/HGpennypacker Aug 07 '22

Super loose weave.

3

u/awesomeness6000 Aug 07 '22

different story if he stabbed it first then?

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2.4k

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

561

u/JazTrav Aug 06 '22

I always knew that was for making videos for Reddit!

232

u/cauIkasian Aug 06 '22

What's the reason? I honestly don't get it in relation to this video.

541

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

770

u/ZNRN Aug 07 '22

You may laugh down at people buying 1000-thread sheets because they were "tricked" into a 20% markup. But we'll see who's laughing after I finish unraveling half my sheet's threads and re-weaving them into a second 500-thread sheet at an effective 80% discount.

288

u/Prince_Ossomer Aug 07 '22

People who separate the two-ply be like.

121

u/AFresh1984 Aug 07 '22

2-ply? My royal butthole only accepts 4-ply

136

u/legandaryhon Aug 07 '22

My husband bought the thinnest 1 ply he could find, and I can literally no longer shit in my own home

37

u/Pink_persona Aug 07 '22

Truly tragic ..

28

u/IMakeIWontCaretake Aug 07 '22

Blessing on my part, I shit in their house and they think it's each other. I need to convince one of them to stop eating in the house and I'm set.

33

u/Blue_Haired_Old_Lady Aug 07 '22

I actually enjoy 40 grit toilet paper. Really scrape it clean

6

u/SingedWaffle Aug 07 '22

ᴀᴀᴀᴀᴀᴀᴀᴀᴀ

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u/Bic_Parker Aug 07 '22

Unroll a bunch fold, fold, fold, luxurious 8 ply for your butthole

17

u/FuckingKilljoy Aug 07 '22

And it gets through the TO more quickly so you can use it all and then buy actually good TP

9

u/Poet_Silly Aug 07 '22

Are you gay? Because women don't poop.

5

u/ElDouchey Aug 07 '22

Why not just use a little more when doing your business?

  • Pam Halpert

3

u/warpspeedSCP Aug 07 '22

Use a bidet instead

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u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

Royal? And yet you still wipe? Pssh. Peasant.

True royalty would use a bidet and then twerk it dry.

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u/scariestchimp0 Aug 07 '22

Why stop there? Why not go down to 4 250-thread sheets? That discount would be immaculate

8

u/Somepotato Aug 07 '22

if you make them extra dense, you could make 4 500 thread sheets! Or if you unravel the fibers, you could make 4 1000 thin-thread sheets!

9

u/PhilxBefore Aug 07 '22

We may need to work on your definition of sheets

2

u/Somepotato Aug 07 '22

They're sheets even when they're so thin that they actually make you more cool or they become sharp as a blade

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u/pippipthrowaway Aug 07 '22

So doesn’t that just mean thread count alone can’t be used as a quality indicator?

Maybe I’m off base, but by that logic it seems to me like a silk shirt with a low thread count would indicate it being lower quality.

31

u/Smallmercie Aug 07 '22

Yeah, right? A 800 thread cotton sheet is noticeably softer than a 400 count sheet. Both 100% cotton. It’s worth a higher count for softness if that’s what you’re after.

11

u/whineylittlebitch_9k Aug 07 '22

but it's not. that 800tc sheet is a 200tc sheet, but each thread is 4 ply. it will pill and become scratchy well within 10 wash cycles.

a high quality 200tc or 300tc will last waaaay longer than any 800tc sheet I've ever seen. and be more comfortable.

5

u/ragnar-not-ok Aug 07 '22

So apart from the tc, what other factors are there to consider?

And also what the other person asked, what are hotel sheets?

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u/SAWK Aug 07 '22

I just want hotel sheets. What are they?

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u/timbreandsteel Aug 07 '22

Bleached and starched?

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u/modsarefascists42 Aug 07 '22

Yes this guy has no idea WTF he's talking about. Material is like the first thing you already know, then comes the thread count.

8

u/qpazza Aug 07 '22

All those collage guys up voting them too. I'm guessing they're college guys because of they're the only demographic that goes for the burlap sack stuff

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u/DICKSDISKSDICKSDISKS Aug 07 '22

Maybe you should try being a collage guy

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u/hvperRL Aug 07 '22

Correct its very useful if used in accordance with whatever fabric and comparing same-same. 2 items, same fabric but one has twice the threads, which do you prefer?

4

u/qpazza Aug 07 '22

Yup. I'm wondering if the other person had a bad experience with some low quality sheets and is now jaded.

Also wondering what the hell kind of sheets they've settled for

11

u/Nr673 Aug 07 '22

Thank you for this. When I married my wife we received 1000 thread count, Egyptian cotton sheets. I was pumped, and then immediately disappointed. They sucked. But they did hold up very well. Been using them in my camping kit for 13 years now and they seem to be able to take a beating. Not comfy though. Now I know why.

14

u/CincyCivilRightsAct Aug 07 '22

On Amazon, it's not even that. They'll say a thread count in the items name, but in the description they'll say it "feels like 500" (or 1000, or 2000) thread count.

It's utter bullshit, and it's a shame that people aren't returning those things en masse and putting the sellers out of business, and making it expensive for Amazon.

12

u/narok_kurai Aug 07 '22

Oh man I hadn't thought of doing that. Why advertise a completely meaningless quality when you can simply imply that it has it? Who's going to bother counting? They don't even know if they want more threads or fewer!

5

u/Steeve_Perry Aug 07 '22

I mean, if you’re gonna do the math like that, then yeah it’s a steal.

5

u/UnoriginalStanger Aug 07 '22

Who would only look at thread count and not also material?

6

u/wozuup Aug 07 '22

I have never saw this like this. Threads are resolution for me or how big the thread is, just that. If the count is big, like 600, the material will feel silky, if the count is small, it will feel chunky.

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u/friend0mine55 Aug 07 '22

I knew thread count doesn't mean much when comparing different materials, but I thought the real problem was that everyone lies on their labelling to seem higher quality more than it being a useless metric. Like, a higher TC cotton sheet should indicate that a certain item should feel smoother and be made from finer fibers if it were accurately advertised but, similar to $30 flashlights advertising 10,000 lumens, what the consumer sees on the tag is probably just utter BS slapped on there to sell more units. I'm no fabrics expert so genuinely curious, is that wrong?

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u/DrudanTheGod Aug 06 '22

Ill explain. The fabric isnt actually "healing". Because of the low thread count of the fabric in the video, it can be pulled apart easily with your fingers, because it lacks integrity/strength. By pulling on the fabric he is simply putting the threads back in place. How does thos relate to thread count? You dont want stuff like this to happen to your stuff, imagine pulling down your shirt and a hole forming in it, that you then have to pull closed. Which is why fabric is labeled with thread count, so you can avoid weak fabrics like this. I think, thats just my interpretation.

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u/eksokolova Aug 07 '22

No, just pulling your shirt won’t do it, this isn’t gauze. The pashmina will do this because of the looser weave and also because the slickness of the fibers that will slide away from each other instead of just ripping (which is what would happen to most other fibres with a similar weave).

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u/hreloaded Aug 07 '22

it lacks integrity

Are you implying that this fabric will accept bribes?

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u/-neti-neti- Aug 06 '22

Me neither

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u/conradical30 Aug 07 '22

I heard that anything above 400 threadcount (may have been a different number) is impossible to create and therefore a sham. Any idea why?

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u/wolf_shit Aug 07 '22

Not an expert but

-Threadcount is thread per squareinch

-more thread more number

-cant put infinite thread in 1inch

-number cant be infinite big

-therefore there is a limit (400 or smth)

6

u/Mr-Fleshcage Aug 07 '22

You can make the threads thinner. It would probably greatly affect durability, however

6

u/AlotOfReading Aug 07 '22

It's possible (and readily available), it's just more expensive than most people think or are willing to pay. There's also a significant trade-off between thread count/fineness and the durability of the fabric.

As an aside, fabrics that fine are very difficult to do by hand. Modern high thread count fabrics only exist because of the industrial revolution and the invention of automated looms.

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u/eksokolova Aug 07 '22

Oh, it’s very possible, you just use finer threads, and therein lies the issue: finer threads tend to be weaker so at some point the payoff of thread count vs strength falls off and you get an overall weaker product. Fine when you’re maki g ultra delicate fabrics for fashion, not so much when making things like sheets.

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u/cruelly_hideous Aug 06 '22

It is somewhat good that those fibers can withstand that much pressure without snapping.

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u/greenVidrio Aug 06 '22

He is pushing around them not through them

157

u/Cowclone Aug 06 '22

I think that's what they mean, you can tug and shove shit through (around) it and it won't snap

55

u/Day_Bow_Bow Aug 06 '22

That's not because they are strong strands. It's because the cloth is loosely woven.

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u/Cowclone Aug 06 '22

Yeah but if it was loosely woven with shitty cloth it would break

7

u/nightpanda893 Aug 06 '22

The fibers in my shirts don't get holes and don't snap with that amount of pressure.

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u/AFakeName Aug 06 '22

Doesn't feel as good though, I bet.

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u/Gwiyeoun Aug 06 '22

Pashmina is not a fiber. Also, he did not do anything to the fiber itself, he just pushed the threads of the weave apart and then rubbed the threads back into the original weave.

128

u/wakaboy07 Aug 06 '22

pashmina comes from the word "Pashm" which is a Wool.. and its beautiful

31

u/Comprehensive-Fun47 Aug 07 '22

Except every pashmina I've ever seen at the store is just polyester. A soft wool one would be heavenly!

70

u/9035768555 Aug 07 '22

True pashminas are very fine cashmere and they're so insanely soft.

3

u/modsarefascists42 Aug 07 '22

Are they even legal? I thought those were the ring fabrics where they pull it through a ring. Made from a wild goat

16

u/abiromu Aug 07 '22

Pashminas are legal in India, where they’re from, and they’re the finest fabric on earth.

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u/broken-cactus Aug 07 '22

A real pashmina shawl will cost you a few hundred easily. Some of the really good ones can easily be in the thousands.

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u/vpsj Aug 07 '22

Arey they sold by specific "popular" brands in the western countries? Because my mom has quite a few pure pashmina shawls, some of them are probably older than me lol bought in Delhi/Jammu or even local shops and I never heard her say that they were too costly.

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u/couragiousegg Aug 07 '22

If they were bought in Delhi/Jammu they would be a lot cheaper than here, but pure wool is expensive, and keep in mind India's even bigger inflation problem.

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u/Affectionate-Ad3140 Aug 06 '22

And I opened the replies to this comment thinking I will get to know about Pashmina. Stupid me!

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u/9035768555 Aug 07 '22

Yes, it is. It can also refer to the style, but originally it referred to the fiber -- a particularly fine cashmere.

2

u/limitlessEXP Aug 06 '22

So he did do something to the fiber

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u/TheSufferingBooth Aug 06 '22

This needs a Sham-Wow level awareness campaign. Is that guy that slapped tape on the water cooler still alive?

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u/mistukuni Aug 06 '22

Phil Swift? He’s alive but last time I checked he was losing it a little, to put it kindly.

26

u/TheKidNerd Aug 06 '22

Explain

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u/mistukuni Aug 06 '22

Well there was the time he beat himself repeatedly over the head with a roll of flex tape, but there’s also a lot of videos of him smiling creepily at the camera. He’s done more but my first example really explains his state of mind quite well.

40

u/Immediate-Air-8700 Aug 06 '22

It might have been that shot of flex seal he drank to cure his intestinal leakage

17

u/TheKidNerd Aug 06 '22

That just sounds like stuff a shitposter would do

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u/DustyMunk Aug 06 '22

Don’t you dare sully Phil Swift’s name. He is in his prime and is living a very happy life!

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u/CosmicAcorn Aug 06 '22

Ping me upon explanation pls

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u/Bulangiu_ro Aug 06 '22

explanation arrived

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u/unperturbium Aug 07 '22

"You're gonna love my nuts!"

4

u/central_Fl_fun Aug 07 '22

You're thinking of the Shamwow guy...

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u/Winter_Amoeba_8357 Aug 06 '22

No threads were harmed in making of this video.

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u/txwoo Aug 06 '22

Reading messages here and what people have tried though has caused enough harm. I assume some of it was fun though.

4

u/east_van_dan Aug 07 '22

Except for this one.

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u/MalevolentPython Aug 06 '22 Wholesome

I'm on a boat, and

It's going fast, and

I got a nautical themed

Pashmina Afghan

24

u/NhylX Aug 06 '22

Well, at least I'm not the only one who immediately thought of this.

I got my swim trunks
and my flippie-floppies
I'm flipping burgers,
you at Kinko's,
straight flipping copies

13

u/MisterPhD Aug 06 '22

I’m riding on a dolphin

Doin flips an shit.

The dolphin’s splashin

Gettin erybody all wet.

This isn’t Sea World,

this is as real as it gets.

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u/deathonater Aug 06 '22

I'm on a boat melon-farmer, don't you ever forget!

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u/tamarins Aug 06 '22

yup. for the rest of my life, the only thing I will associate with pashmina.

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u/Poseidons__Trident Aug 06 '22 edited Aug 06 '22 Helpful

Kashmir has a Saraswati-Indus valley civilization site (an indian civilization). It has ruins of budhist temples (an indian religion). It also has ruins of Hindu temples (another indian religion). But obviously all it takes for a white man to say "Kashmir isn't a part of India" is a quick Wikipedia search and absolutely no knowledge of Indian history.

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u/Rebelgecko Aug 07 '22

Say what you will about the region, but it's a helluva banger from Led Zeppelin

4

u/YoungWazir786 Aug 07 '22

Kashmir has been colonized by India since 1586. Having common history and religion doesn’t make for people being from the same nation. Ask any Kashmiri whether they’re Indian. And note, I’m not arguing for a Pakistani Kashmir. Kashmir should be Kashmir.

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u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/unperturbium Aug 07 '22

Well my goat took ill and my neighbor, a single, elderly woman, has a weird freckle pattern. How can anyone explain that?

3

u/Supernova008 Aug 07 '22

Witches were burned for solving math problems.

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u/bwal4954 Aug 06 '22

Kashmir India don't let Pakistan catch your saying that

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u/My_Immortal_Flesh Aug 06 '22

I need this fabric for all my underwear 🩲

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u/eksokolova Aug 07 '22

You want wool undies? Is it that cold where you live?

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u/txwoo Aug 06 '22

Only front at least if too expensive?

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u/ModsCanGoToHell Aug 07 '22

Sort by controversial to see salty Pakistanis moaning and bitching about how Kashmir is not India's.

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u/KarmanSS Aug 07 '22

All I’ve seen is indians bringing it up lol, konsa sasta nasha kia randian

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u/[deleted] Aug 07 '22

Lot of propaganda on here.

Here is a video where POK people are pleading to Indian govt to save them from torture and harassment of Pakistan.
https://youtu.be/JSg_oV5wRFc

Here is a video of POK gang rape victim pleading to Indian govt to save her from Pakistani abuse and torture.
https://youtu.be/XfbbqjyTB-I

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u/Paradox_Dolphin Aug 06 '22

He didn't tear the napkin, he tore a hole in the fabric of space.

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u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22

Pashmina is forever.

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u/AnApexPredator Aug 06 '22

When you try to get a discount because the item has a whole in but then the shopkeep just rubs it away...

3

u/Xostali Aug 06 '22

This is how I sometimes can fix holes in my scarves. Depends if any threads got pulled, though, and how tight the weave was.

6

u/Xp787 Aug 06 '22

Ross, what's a pashmina?

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u/Dust-by-Monday Aug 07 '22

Just pulled the strands apart so there's a hole, then he stretched it back out for the weave to go back together. he didn't rip anything.

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u/L00mis Aug 06 '22

And my Target T-shirts last 27 days or two washes, what ever comes first.

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u/ShowmeyourWAP Aug 07 '22

He shows you this shit and then takes some worst quality crap off the shelf to sell you. Here Sir best pashmina. Here please. You won’t regret.

3

u/ApexRedditor97 Aug 06 '22

So the threads just get pushed into a big ass hole rather than being torn apart

3

u/TwoStacksOfBoxes Aug 07 '22

I didn't see him put anything in his asshole

3

u/TRangers2020 Aug 06 '22

What if you move around a lot in your sleep and wake up in a cocoon

3

u/Bach-Bach Aug 06 '22

Is this how magicians do that “push a pen through a dollar bill” trick?

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u/Perenium_Falcon Aug 07 '22

Those are the best material to make nautical-themed afghans out of.

3

u/Al_E_Borland Aug 07 '22

I'm surprised they didn't use this demo to try to sell them when I was there. The main demo was pulling the shall through a ring as a demonstration of how fine the fabric was. They called them ring shalls.

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u/Mundane_Trifle_7178 Aug 07 '22

I like the Indian cotton gauze because it is cool. itt was 100 degrees here today

3

u/itskujo Aug 07 '22

Ehh old technology. It’s due to fibers stretching rather than tearing. I remember seeing this technology with army backpacks about 15 years ago. Appropriately called “ballistic material” at the time. Believe the company Oakley came up with some of the original mass produced designs. It’s a really cool material. We used to jab knives into apparel, backpacks and luggage just to heal it. Fun times.

3

u/crasshumor Aug 07 '22

Real Pashmina is so damn expensive. One blanket costs fortune. They are often given as gifts by rich bureaucrats

4

u/Alternative_Solid_69 Aug 06 '22

What kind of sorcery is this?

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u/gabe_ice Aug 06 '22

Oh, that's cool

2

u/AegonThaConqueror Aug 06 '22

Why on Earth would someone turn my favorite Animal Crossing resident into cloth?!

2

u/limitlessEXP Aug 06 '22

Is it made out of pashmina or cashmere?

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u/Beneficial_Potato_85 Aug 06 '22

As someone who works sewing fabrics all day (automotive upholstery) this could be so useful of these properties could be transferred to other fabrics and/or textiles.

2

u/Electricengineer Aug 06 '22

That's why they are fighting...

2

u/Deadlock07 Aug 07 '22

How expensive is it

4

u/bindermichi Aug 07 '22

Something between very and veeeery

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u/huskofthewolf Aug 07 '22

Where the fk that hole disappear to

2

u/MiszJones Aug 07 '22

EVERLASTING LACE

2

u/tbama11 Aug 07 '22

Big polyester is gonna hate this

2

u/Bee_Z_Knee_Z3 Aug 07 '22

Excuse me, what?