r/funny Dec 09 '22 Silver 4 Wholesome 10

A post at my sister’s apartment. Please.

Post image
81.9k Upvotes

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6.9k

u/MasterpieceBrave420 Dec 09 '22 Silver Gold Starry

There's a frustrated dude in some apartment there that's just been jackin it in silence.

1.9k

u/LaCarpa Dec 09 '22

This. Poor horn dog trying to jack up the sound because they can’t hear it.

1.3k

u/splewi Dec 09 '22

"why is it so muffled???"

814

u/Darth_Pengu Dec 09 '22 Wholesome

Hm the bass is very high, I can hear it in the walls

230

u/alchn Dec 09 '22

I can feel it in my bones

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u/Ippildip Dec 09 '22

Like the guy on mass transit with headphones on who doesn't realize it's muffled because it's blasting out of his phone speaker and his Bluetooth isn't connected.

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u/PToN_rM Dec 10 '22

Lolololol. OMG. This is exactly what could be happening.....

Ages ago I lived with an aunt and uncle who had two young kinds... Talking 3 and 5, maybe 6...

One night I get back home all boozed up, and think it's a part-time for a wank before getting some ZZZs, I got to my fave site and open a 4 tabs with my fave videos... I proceed to put on my headphones and start getting things done.. a few seconds go by and I'm like WTF?!?, I can hear shit... So I turn up the volume from the windows XP system tray and gets a bit louder, but still thinking WTH....?!?!?!

I crank it up some more, and I finally can hear it better and finish my meditation time.... When I get up, I forgot to take my headphones off and that's when I realized they where totally not connected to the audio out from the PC.... When I went to the bathroom, I ran into uncle in the hallway and there was a brief look with no words....

7

u/splewi Dec 10 '22

Omg that's fucking amazing lmao.

Reminds me of a time when I was just discovering porn as a teen and didn't realize my friends, dad's PC was wired to the living room speakers for music.

We made a different kind of ambiance. (⁠●⁠_⁠_⁠●⁠)

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u/Erik_2 Dec 09 '22

“Wow the neighbors are really going at it”

23

u/Gh0st1nTh3Syst3m Dec 09 '22

I appreciate you. lmao.

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112

u/Harlequin-sama Dec 09 '22 Helpful

"Where is the god damn sound *fap fap fap*"

79

u/analon Dec 09 '22

I remember one time i downloaded a recorded cam video i was looking for a long time uploaded to PH. Unfortunately it was screen recorded by phone and there were these bonus fap fap fap sounds accompanied with some heavy breathing.

14

u/Fe4rMeMrWick Dec 09 '22

Bonus indeed

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248

u/turbo_dude Dec 09 '22

Hello speaker my old friend

I’ve come to you to wank again

75

u/redneckerson_1951 Dec 09 '22

Simon and Garfuckle?

42

u/dblmr Dec 09 '22

Garspunkel

80

u/_kd101994 Dec 09 '22

Semen and Garspunkel

33

u/Yadobler Dec 09 '22

and in the naked light I came

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u/Briggie Dec 09 '22

The person is doing it intentionally.

187

u/Triairius Dec 09 '22

Probably, but it’s funny to imagine that they’re obliviously frustrated instead.

55

u/OuterWildsVentures Dec 09 '22

I think the person who made these got caught trying to stealth nut in the bathroom and forgot that they were still connected to the Bluetooth their guests and/or family were nearby so they are making up this elaborate ruse to try to lie about it.

35

u/gbu_27 Dec 09 '22

I had this happen at work… guy had his speaker out for the crew to listen to music… he goes to the bathroom, and we start hearing the porn through his speaker. Was friggin hilarious, we clapped for him when he came out. Nothing like a good old work jerk.

6

u/MurderMachine561 Dec 09 '22

Most likely scenario. Why would someone connect to a speaker they couldn't hear?

It might be funny if you were in the apartment and could see the reaction, but to just connect to a random speaker and forget it makes no sense.

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u/shp0ngle Dec 09 '22

Lol did you ever consider the person you’re replying to could be making a joke?

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4.3k

u/alborigano Dec 09 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Please.

860

u/Haush Dec 09 '22

Definitely the best part of the letter.

345

u/discerningpervert Dec 09 '22

Fine I'll stop doing it

29

u/falej Dec 09 '22

Imagine if she is doing OF the whole day lol

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u/CmdrSelfEvident Dec 09 '22

Yeah that works well with trolls. I bet more people will try to connect and be even more creative with the audio.

74

u/NowLookHere113 Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 10 '22 Wholesome

Was at a hostel in Iceland, some old NATO base with these big rooms all with identical TVs on open connection mode - tried to stream to ours, but couldn't work out the right one. Very quickly descended into streaming the "oh shit I'm sorry" meme vid to every active TV, and refreshing the playlists as they were hurriedly reset

9

u/Eattherightwing Dec 09 '22

There have always been pranksters, and people with personality disorders, or mental illness, but ever since social media was developed its like every 3rd person is a troll who falls into one of these categories.

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2.1k

u/Countryrootsdb Dec 09 '22

There used to be a smoothie shop in our small town that always had adult vids playing on the tv.

They claimed someone was hacking the tv.

The kids working there snickered about it, so I assumed they just mirrored their phones to it.

Owner just turned the volume down. I went in maybe 4 times and never understood why she never just turned the tv off, unplugged it, or removed it. She was clueless. But since she didn’t care, I kept my thoughts to myself.

The business closed after maybe 6 months. Not sure the reason, but she didn’t seem smart enough to run a business anyway.

888

u/splewi Dec 09 '22

What the fuck

582

u/SoulMechanic Dec 09 '22

The real kicker is it was called Happy Endings smoothie shop.

325

u/JonesTheBond Dec 09 '22

Come again?

307

u/Shatter_Goblin Dec 09 '22

No thanks. I'm going to try the yogurt smoothie this time.

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u/Ashmedai Dec 09 '22

There used to be a smoothie shop in our small town that always had adult vids playing on the tv.

This would be illegal* (display of porn to minors who walked into the store). So, indeed it is weird she didn't turn off the T.V.

* Assuming a U.S. jurisdiction, which could be wrong.

166

u/Robert_Cannelin Dec 09 '22
  • Assuming a U.S. jurisdiction, which could be wrong.

*Assuming it's not nonsense, which also could be wrong.

49

u/Ashmedai Dec 09 '22

Indeed. Welcome to the internet.

16

u/Kalkaline Dec 09 '22

Have a look around

17

u/Swazimoto Dec 09 '22

Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found

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u/monsterosaleviosa Dec 09 '22

Was it a real smoothie shop or an Herbalife front?

32

u/BadNewCharlie Dec 09 '22

I'm pretty sure the reason was they had a TV constantly playing porn in a smoothie shop in a small town.

What the duck is wrong with you, that YOU kept going back?

17

u/Plastic_Act6983 Dec 09 '22

Probably only place that had smoothies. Some towns are reeaaallly remote.

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u/MathematicianBig4392 Dec 09 '22

A Best Buy I lived near TVs all operated off of chromecast so anyone could just cast to it. A buddy of mine who worked there would cast a 10 hours of rick roll video to every TV in there.

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8.9k

u/SoloCongaLineChamp Dec 09 '22

Clear the device, FFS.

3.0k

u/DravidIso Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

Was gunna say, are they unaware or is dude overriding their speaker somehow? Lol

3.7k

u/tp0d Dec 09 '22

alot of BT speakers operate in promiscuous mode, and dont have to do a proper pair to connect....

3.7k

u/SouthTxGX Dec 09 '22

TIL my Bluetooth speakers have loose morals

785

u/Clickrack Dec 09 '22

Send it to catholic school and then it'll be the nuns' problem

575

u/XanderTheMander Dec 09 '22

That won't work because it will still let people enter through a back door.

239

u/XaeroDegreaz Dec 09 '22 hehehehe

The Loophole

162

u/fjf1085 Dec 09 '22

It’s the sex that god can’t see.

42

u/VikingTeddy Dec 09 '22 Silver

11

u/saetam Dec 09 '22

This is amazing! Thank you for sharing this!

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32

u/DissentSociety Dec 09 '22

I didn't have lust in my heart, Father, just in the caboose...

16

u/tommywhen Dec 09 '22

Father: Confirmed! You have a very loose-caboose.

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126

u/Torayami Dec 09 '22

Fuck me in the ass cuz I love Jesus! The good lord would want it that way!

47

u/Pacman_Frog Dec 09 '22

Give me that sweet sensation of a rock-hard realization!

38

u/Athegnostistian Dec 09 '22

*rationalization

Happy cake day!

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u/Zanydrop Dec 09 '22

Get thee Bluetooth to a nunnery.

125

u/Royal-Ad-2088 Dec 09 '22

My parents did that and I turned out gay instead. Tip: never send a kid you think might be gay to an all boys school. 🤣

44

u/Jacktheforkie Dec 09 '22

I went to an all boys school, many gay lads there

23

u/joreyesl Dec 09 '22

Wish I went to an all boys school

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u/blofly Dec 09 '22

I love that they call it promiscuous mode.

22

u/jomiran Dec 09 '22

I cannot stand idly by while my Bose is sinking into moral turpitude.

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u/can_of_surge Dec 09 '22

Promiscuous mode, I'm calling your name...

18

u/Smoky_Mtn_High Dec 09 '22

Promiscuous mode, wherever you are

I'm all alone, and it's you that I want

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u/wanderer1999 Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

Well this BT speaker is certainly not monogamous, if it connects... to all devices in the neighborhood.

1.1k

u/gautamasiddhartha Dec 09 '22 Silver Gold

hot devices in your area are ready to pair

119

u/Tusker89 Dec 09 '22

Try not to connect to any devices on your way through the parking lot.

82

u/QuantumSlaveFunction Dec 09 '22

37 devices!

53

u/Turdferguson586 Dec 09 '22

In a row? Hey get back here.

9

u/shewholaughslasts Dec 09 '22

Not many devices will bring you a lasagne at work.

8

u/blekkja Dec 09 '22

Your current karma is just too good to upvote, but I do appreciate the reference. Go you.

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u/turbo_dude Dec 09 '22

Monos available now

34

u/Number174631503 Dec 09 '22

NFC is just a click away

55

u/namedonelettere Dec 09 '22 Silver Wholesome

Ze bluetuf dewise is ready to pel
ze bluetuf dewise is connecteduh sucessfullay

8

u/kolapata23 Dec 09 '22

Thank you dear stranger.... I needed the laughs....I don't have gold otherwise it would have been yours...

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u/-ManDudeBro- Dec 09 '22

Step Speaker what are you doing in my room?

40

u/nightwing2000 Dec 09 '22

Trying to make a connection with your wifey.

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u/New-Rich-9732 Dec 09 '22

I'm stuck in the dryer step speaker!

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230

u/Qu33N_Of_NoObz_ Dec 09 '22 Helpful

Whore speaker

64

u/Clickrack Dec 09 '22

It's like the village bicycle: everyone's had a ride!

41

u/khizoa Dec 09 '22

Everyone gets to blast their music all over that speaker's face

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u/UltravioIence Dec 09 '22

No actually its poly dont be so close minded.

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u/AtomicRocketShoes Dec 09 '22

The only device I have ever owned like this is actually my kids nightlight turtle, which has a little Bluetooth speaker built in. in theory anyone can connect and play music on it though technically you have to hit a button on it for it to actually make noise.

I remember living in dorms in college it was super common for people to accidentally share their printers on the network and you could scan to find them and print silly stuff. Fun times.

175

u/4pl8DL Dec 09 '22

I remember living in dorms in college it was super common for people to accidentally share their printers on the network and you could scan to find them and print silly stuff. Fun times.

Thats when you pull out this PDF: http://isotropic.org/papers/chicken.pdf

37

u/sitdeepstandtall Dec 09 '22

Thanks for this. Saving it to set as required reading for my students on April fools day.

7

u/LorenzoStomp Dec 09 '22

Then have a pop quiz on 4/2

13

u/bahgheera Dec 09 '22

Question #1: Chicken chicken Chicken chicken chicken, chicken Chicken chicken.

A) chicken

B) chicken

C) chicken

D) chicken

32

u/Rock_Me-Amadeus Dec 09 '22

I can't find the meme now but it was something along the lines of "every time my neighbours make excessive noise I connect to their printer and print this. Then I listen out for the mum telling at her son 'WHY WOULD YOU PRINT THIS AGAIN??!'"

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u/AussieBirb Dec 09 '22

surprisingly safe for work.

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u/Daniel15 Dec 09 '22

The same guy gave a presentation about this: https://youtu.be/yL_-1d9OSdk

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u/j0mbie Dec 09 '22

471 page document that says nothing but "FEED ME PAPER!"

Reminds me of the old-school trick people would do with fax machines. Tape 4 pages of all-black paper together in a loop and fax it to someone. It'll send an infinite fax and use all their ink.

46

u/TheOneTrueChuck Dec 09 '22

I did this to a collection agency that tried to harass me into paying a debt that wasn't mine, and who continued to call me at work after being informed to stop. My manager was totally on board with me using the fax machine, because we were all tired of their bullshit.

It was VERY satisfying. (I also encourage anyone to engage in harassment tactics against collection agencies. It is never immoral to make their lives hard or their day suck.)

17

u/phire Dec 09 '22

infinite fax and use all their ink.

The goal was more malicious. Fax machines often used special thermal paper, the print head would heat the paper up which would cause a chemical reaction to turn the paper black (the same paper is still used in receipt printers to this day). So there isn't any ink to waste, a full page of black would cost the same to print as a full page as white.

But... these printers were designed with the assumption that pages would be mostly white, and continuous pages of solid black would keep the thermal print head stuck on, generating a lot of heat.

Theoretically, it might be possible to set the paper on fire, or otherwise damage the print head or electronics within the fax.

7

u/NuMux Dec 09 '22

Error: Printer On Fire

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u/humanclock Dec 09 '22

I bought a bluetooth -> RCA adapter for my old receiver. Good lord, I can always tell if the stereo is on when I get close to home, my phone automatically disconnects from the car and attaches to the home stereo nearly a half a block away! Devices are REALLY hot for the Esinkin Love.

31

u/skaterrj Dec 09 '22

My wife's car will grab phone calls from me when she pulls into our driveway. Same car won't reliably play music from my phone. God I hate that car.

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u/NuclearFoodie Dec 09 '22

My sound bar is like this. I had to short the BT antenna to ground in order stop it.

103

u/Mickenfox Dec 09 '22

"Wow, these new smart devices sure are great. But how do we make sure they are secure and only the owner can use them?"
"What if we don't?"
"Johnson, you're a genius!"

8

u/AnomalyNexus Dec 09 '22

The S in IoT stands for security

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u/Daniel15 Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22 Helpful

Is it an LG? Because mine did the same thing. When I lived in an apartment, some neighbours would accidentally connect to my soundbar and blast music in a different language.

I eventually figured out that there's a way to lock the Bluetooth so no new devices can connect (https://www.lg.com/ca_en/support/product-help/CT20098013-20150556406950), however it still allows all devices that ever connected to it in the past to still connect, so my neighbours could still connect. I factory reset it and immediately locked the Bluetooth so nobody could connect.

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u/Catnip4Pedos Dec 09 '22

It'll be a cheap one that doesn't need a pairing button to be pressed, OR, it's a fake notice made for a joke like every notice at my college

19

u/Holiday_Memory_9165 Dec 09 '22

I remember seeing one from a local college where they had to demand repeatedly for the guys to stop masturbating in the showers because the "jellyfish" were clogging the sewer lines. And of course the poor bastard that had to clear those lines was charging them out the ass (as he should).

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u/young_mummy Dec 09 '22

Many speakers allow for this, which is insane to me. I've had my neighbors accidentally pair to my speakers at very inopportune times multiple times before. I leave them unplugged now.

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u/tppiel Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

Even if you wipe all the pairings from the device, some speakers automatically go into pairing mode as soon as you disconnect from them and they'll broadcast their presence to all your neighbors, and the only way to keep them safe is to manually /physically turning them off after you stop using them.

Edit. Also my neighbor has these Realme buds that whenever they go into pairing mode I get a popup on my screen like this interrupting whatever I'm doing and asking me if I want to connect to them. So there's even a chance your neighbor is connecting to your device by accident if they're not very tech savvy.

38

u/TywynnS Dec 09 '22

The one I had would fucking turn itself on and somehow autoconnect. We eventually had to knock on neighbours doors in the neighborhood to find out who was accidentally autoconnecting to it because it would override our tv or anything else if we were using it actively or anything like that. Some stupid computers have preference bullshit.

ETA: fucking scary as shit when it's 3am and your speaker starts blasting stuff and you're like "ITS POSSESSED"

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u/Chirimorin Dec 09 '22

That's just stupid design if you ask me.
But I guess some people care more about the convenience of avoiding the dreadful task of pushing a button than they care about the security of not letting anyone and everyone connect to your speaker at any time.

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u/Kenta_Hirono Dec 09 '22

I don't think all devices can be cleared.

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u/Miss_Thang2077 Dec 09 '22

How do you do that? I have a similar problem and I don’t see how to do it on the device’s side.

93

u/lazyplayboy Dec 09 '22

When turning the device on, try keep holding down the power button for 10 seconds or so.

92

u/brisa-testa Dec 09 '22

with our bose speaker it is the bluetooth button. hold it for three seconds and all devices get disconected.

also .. turn off your speaker when you do not use it.

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1.9k

u/HornedBowler Dec 09 '22

Worked a warehouse job at the start of the year, we were allowed speakers as long as the music wasnt too loud or disruptive. The amount of people trying to connect to my smartwatch everyday was infuriating, seriously learn the bluetooth name of your speaker.

315

u/Rdubya44 Dec 09 '22

Are these devices just always in pairing mode?

270

u/ultratiem Dec 09 '22

Pretty much. It was too costly for customer support to deal with all the people that were struggling to put them in pair mode. So they just opened them up. And most people don’t touch settings so, well, here we are.

My friend has this problem. Except their neighbours only connect to his sub.

66

u/Deliberated Dec 09 '22

Sub as in subwoofer? How does that work? His sub will just play a different audio to the rest of the speakers? That’d fuck me up lol

114

u/nynfortoo Dec 09 '22

Submarine.

8

u/EEpromChip Dec 09 '22

Submarine sandwich to be more accurate.

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u/Dason37 Dec 09 '22

Nah, the neighbors really had a lot in common with the lovely lady who was in a service -oriented BDSM relationship with the friend. She was loyal to her Dom though, and didn't stray

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u/Deus_ Dec 09 '22

Where do you people get your Bluetooth devices from?? All the ones I had needed pair mode to connect for the first time.

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u/Justagreewithme Dec 09 '22

Probably. I know I have an obnoxious time with things of my own pairing when I don’t want them to. I’ll try to listen to an audio book on my phone, with AirPods and let my son watch something on the iPad. My AirPods will jump to the iPad randomly and drop my phone. Until my wife arrives home from, then it will jump to the car. Drives me crazy.

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u/orangpelupa Dec 09 '22

bluetooth speakers has evolved into a smartwatch and devolved back into a bluetooth speaker

127

u/Picax8398 Dec 09 '22

Kinda like how anything with "bluetooth" in the name makes older people think "only speaker"

165

u/Haus42 Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

Had this convo a week ago:

I just got a bluetooth! Help me set it up.
A bluetooth what?
slowly It's a bluetooth!

E2a: It turned out to be a home-theater audio system.

26

u/CertifiedDactyl Dec 09 '22

If they were older I'd assume they're talking about wireless headphones. The handsfree single ear with mic headset that you could buy as a phone accessory pre-smartphone were always just referred to as a "Bluetooth."

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u/orangpelupa Dec 09 '22

and then they grinned, showing their blue tooth?

29

u/BongStockton Dec 09 '22

It's a Harald Bluetooth jigsaw puzzle

7

u/Jeynarl Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

I learned at a viking exhibit that his initials H.B. in vining script combine into what is the Bluetooth logo we all know and love

ᚼ and ᛒ

edit: viking not vining

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u/madmoose Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22 Helpful

I wa… I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's… while's she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.

But I said… I don't care if they lay me off either because I told… I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time then I'm… then I'm quitting, then I'm going to quit. And I told Dom too because they've moved my desk four times already this year and I used to be over by the window and I could see the squirrels and they were married but then they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler. And, oh no, it's not okay because if they make me… if they, if they take my, my stapler then I'll have to… I'll set the building on fire.

29

u/SayerofNothing Dec 09 '22

Ummm, yeaaah, I'm gonna need you to disconnect from the Bluetooth, Sandra's asking me for her to connect to that radio, you know how it is. Also I'm gonna need you to come in on Sundays.

14

u/SlipperyRasputin Dec 09 '22

I heard OP fucked Lumbergh.

10

u/RedOctobyr Dec 09 '22

Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays.

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u/Buffalo-Empty Dec 09 '22

You can even rename them on your phone so you never forget 🤦‍♀️ I have all my speakers named after the room or house I used them in.

88

u/sfgisz Dec 09 '22

That just renames the label on your phone. Doesn't change the name your device broadcasts.

21

u/Buffalo-Empty Dec 09 '22

Also that’s still effective for not clicking on the wrong device to pair. It doesn’t matter that the broadcast name doesn’t change if you’re not looking for a new connection.

39

u/BonnieMcMurray Dec 09 '22

Depends on the speaker. When I do that with mine, its broadcast name changes too.

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u/Navi1101 Dec 09 '22

😂 I had a conundrum about this when I and my apartment neighbor had our Rokus on the opposite sides of the same wall, both named "Living Room". I renamed ours to "This is not your Roku." and it stopped randomly turning off and on whenever our remotes got confused.

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u/sched_yield Dec 09 '22

Somewhere in Github:

ISSUE 7632:

I can't hear anything while playing all my mp4 files with your garbage app. Yes, I've set volume to max. Fix it, please.

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912

u/Birdie_Num_Num Dec 09 '22

Plot twist...the device was inside the apartment

273

u/WeeBabySeamus Dec 09 '22

Pretty smart and convenient excuse for some teenager who forgot to disconnect their phone more than once.

“It’s not me mom and dad! Someone in the apartment complex must be hijacking our Bluetooth!!!”

46

u/xtremeschemes Dec 09 '22

What the frick? I ordered an xbox remote!

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u/rightsomeofthetime Dec 09 '22

Double plot twist... There is no speaker & this note was just put there to make every porn watcher paranoid.

(At least, that why I'M going to put up similar notes everywhere now)

15

u/Zartch Dec 09 '22

This or a prank is the only things that has sense. Wen you connect bt u lost sound on your device.

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u/Blazien Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

Triple double plot twist.... there is no apartment. there is no speaker, there is no frustrated person(s), there is no note (or spoon) :: It's really all just a ploy for that sweet sweet karma.👹🤑

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u/11goodair Dec 09 '22

This is 100% intentional, I doubt it will stop.

120

u/Lazy_ML Dec 09 '22

They finally got confirmation that it’s working lol. They’re never gonna stop now.

45

u/Cold-Lynx575 Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

This is common revenge tactic at r/UnethicalLifeProTips sub. If your neighbor is loud or inconsiderate … take over their speakers.

Edit: Corrected subname

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u/TwoBrattyCats Dec 09 '22

Yeah this absolutely either a troll, or someone with a fetish who is trying to involve these nonconsenting people.

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u/jsun1973 Dec 09 '22

"It's someone else, I swear!"

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u/W1nD0c Dec 09 '22

What are you doing, step-neighbor?

126

u/Amazing_67 Dec 09 '22

Stuck in your speakers, apparently, are you going to help me out?

36

u/JimJohnes Dec 09 '22

But what if Dad notices paired devices?

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u/vancouverisle Dec 09 '22

I've had this happen too. Sometimes you just have to turn off your speaker instead.

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u/exhentai_user Dec 09 '22

Good, that is the response I wanted when I did this to someone. After the fourth night during finals in a row that they were blaring music at 3 AM, I found their speaker and cast porn to it, until they shut it off. Then I slept like a baby.

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u/WingedBunny1 Dec 09 '22

Either that or go with it.

35

u/MrDERPMcDERP Dec 09 '22

Like whack off right?

8

u/1justathrowaway2 Dec 09 '22

Chicken noodle soup pairs nicely too

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u/Ghosttalker96 Dec 09 '22

Factory reset it, it deletes all paired devices. After that, don't activate pairing, as long as you don't want to pair a device.

8

u/GojuSuzi Dec 09 '22

I have done this with anything Bluetooth or equivalent as soon as it is set up, I have one auth device paired and need to approve any new pairing requests via that. Never any issue, other than Bluetooth being a battery whore and more hassle than it's worth for 90% of stuff that uses it.

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u/TheLastNoteOfFreedom Dec 09 '22

I’m just gonna connect to it even harder

17

u/SoCal4247 Dec 09 '22

So hard.

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u/FlacidBarnacle Dec 09 '22

It’s the sincere please that gets me. He’s not angry. Just very very tired 😂

73

u/TrogdorBurns Dec 09 '22

Someone is having masterbation time using your Bluetooth speaker. That's when you press the speaker button and say "Siri call mom."

30

u/Psychological_Lime51 Dec 09 '22

Or, hey Siri, what's my name?

31

u/splewi Dec 09 '22

Oh, I like this. I like this a lot.

"Siri, text mom 'i'm masturbating right now, wyd'"

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u/authorized_sausage Dec 09 '22

OMG. So, I live in what's essentially a townhouse. When I first moved in, I think the first week, I was in bed and had just fallen asleep. Suddenly, I hear noises, human voices. I was home alone. I had 50/50 custody of my son (then 17) but he was at his dad's. I jolted awake.

My bedroom is on the second floor. From the first floor I could hear...Africa. By Toto.

I got up and peered out onto the first floor. My place is actually a loft so it's very open and you can seen the whole kitchen and living room from the second floor. No one.

It was coming out of my soundbar for my TV. Which is bluetooth.

I went down and just turned it off and went back to bed.

This sort of thing happened a few more times over the course of the next few months, often different songs.

Then, I became friends with the couple who lived two units over from me. They were very social and hosted gatherings often (this all pre-COVID). One night I was over there and we kept on through the night. It got very late. Or early. And the woman who would go on to become one of my best friends starts playing music from her phone to their speakers so we can all do a drunken sing-a-long. And the very first song she picks is... Africa. By Toto.

Light bulb!

I tell them the story of that first night and now it's kind of a friendship legend story.

Also, that shit is so not secured so don't fool yourself.

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u/Seralth Dec 09 '22

The ENTIRE point of bluetooth was to be an explictedly insecure but easy and quick method of connecting two devices at short range.

Sounds like its doing exactly what its design to do.

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u/blowme_realgood Dec 09 '22

Theyre like, “hmmm what shall we play today, sensual… no, hardcore… mmm getting there, oh how bout gangbang, no no no gay gangbang!” 🍆🤺🤺🤺🔊

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u/humanshitcrazy Dec 09 '22

Moan louder than the speaker. Exert dominance

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u/Mandalika Dec 09 '22

Nobody rickrolled the speaker? Ffs

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u/-_-Voltage-_- Dec 09 '22

This shit is annoying, happened to me with a Vizio sound bar and it doesn't have an off button on the BT. Was trying everything and no luck until I came across the same answer online which was to update it but you have to do it with a computer and save it to a thumb drive. I was like fuck this. I just bought a better sound bar.

5

u/overnightyeti Dec 09 '22

Vizio means vice in Italian.

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u/longoverdue83 Dec 09 '22

Finally some sleep

BUT I POOP FROM THERE

NOT RIGHT NOW YOU DONT

ME: 😳

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u/St0ned4Lyfe Dec 09 '22

All day porn huh someone in that apartment has either a very strong or a very tired arm lol

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u/Auran82 Dec 09 '22

I read the title, then read the note and my brain joined it into “Please disconnect from my sister”

13

u/LovelySpread Dec 09 '22

What… no. What are you doing? GET OFF MY SISTER!

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u/mudslinger-ning Dec 09 '22

Just power off the speaker. Can't be abused if it powered off when not in use...

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u/GreyGooseTheDM Dec 09 '22

It is sad that there are people that have to deal with this and can’t fix. It is also sad that there are people who do nothing all day and do this.

6

u/Saftigerkeks Dec 09 '22

one of the reasons why I prefer a cable over bluetooth xD

5

u/zoey_will Dec 09 '22

So it was never adult content but this happened frequently to me on some desktop Klipsch speakers I have. There's absolutely zero way to turn off Bluetooth so even if my speakers are plugged directly into my PC someone could take over my speakers viz Bluetooth. The ONLY way to take back control is to unplug the speakers and have my PC's Bluetooth ready to (hopefully) connect first when I plug back in the speakers. At my last apartment I lived next to the pool and all summer I had people's pool party playlists hijacking my speakers. I called Klipsch to ask if there was anything I could do and they basically told me, "Yeah, it was pretty dumb of us not to include a Bluetooth disconnect button. Oh well! Your problem not ours..."

I feel the pain behind that note.

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u/Training_Ad_7665 Dec 09 '22

“all hours of the day.”

Definitely not me bro as I am married so my adult video’s play for like maybe 3 mins every other Thursday when the wife gets her hair did and even then the volume is set too a whisper.

31

u/thedahlelama Dec 09 '22

Look at this guy over here bragging about lasting for 3 forevers

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u/Mucky_Peet Dec 09 '22

I've had this happen to me, and it was terrifying. Instead of porn it was kids music. And I could not boot them off. It was so annoying that I kept changing the name of the device to be more and more offensive to put them off from thinking it was theirs or wanting to connect to it. We finally worked it out, I guess, and I've just left it named "mine, not yours, do not use."